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Father Loses Joint Custody, But Retains Access so that Son Could Relax at his Home

Published: November 3, 2017

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Father Loses Joint Custody, But Retains Access so that Son Could Relax at his Home

An interesting decision from Ontario took away a father’s joint custody of his son, but allowed him to retain access so that the son, who was a competitive hockey player, could “… have a sense of relaxation which he currently enjoys at this father’s home in contrast the rigors of a very busy schedule while at his mother’s residence.”

What Happened?

The parties began to live together in January 2002, and separated in July 2004. They have one child (a son) born July 2002.  Since the couple’s separation, the son has lived primarily with the mother.

In January 2012, a final order was issued outlining the arrangements between the parties with respect to custody and other issues. The order provided that:

  • The parties would share joint custody of the child;
  • The child’s primary residence would be with the mother;
  • The father would have access; and
  • The father would pay $388 in monthly child support.

The mother filed a motion to change the final order and requested that she be given sole custody of the son, with reasonable and generous access by the father in accordance with the son’s wishes, and as mutually agreed to by the parties.

The father wanted to maintain joint custody arrangement, and the same access schedule.

Issues to be Determined

In making a final decision with respect to the mother’s request to change the custody and access terms, the court had to decide:

  • Had there been a material change of circumstances with respect to custody and access?
  • If so, what alternative custody arrangement would be in the son’s best interests?
  • What parenting schedule was in the son’s best interests?
Material Change in Circumstances

The mother argued that there was a material change in circumstances that affected custody and access:

  • The son was now 14, four years older than he was when the original order was issued, and his needs had changed;
  • Communication between the two parents had significantly deteriorated;
  • The parties could not work together in a joint custodial agreement;
  • The father had not honoured his parental obligations; and
  • The mother had increasingly taken charge of the son’s needs.

She further argued that the son was late for school when he was in the care of his father, and that the father’s license had been suspended by the Family Responsibility Office (FRO) for non-payment of child support, which significantly affected his ability to transport the son to his activities (the son plays competitive hockey, and practices, games, tournaments, hockey camps, and high-performance athletic programs took up a considerable amount of time).

The father took no position on whether there had been a material change in circumstances.

Son’s Best Interests: Custody Arrangement

The mother argued that a joint custody regime was no longer sustainable because of the lack of communication between the parties. She claimed that she was, by default, making final decisions about matters such as the son’s healthcare, and that she had been providing information to the father and seeking his input but had been receiving none.

The father admitted to some communication issues, but that he simply let the mother dictate all final decisions. He wanted to maintain joint custody.

Son’s Best Interests: Parenting Schedule

The mother shared a number of concerns with respect to the father’s care of the son, including his failure to ensure that the son obtained proper medical attention after he injured himself while playing hockey, and his willingness to allow the son to play video games for too long. She suggested that access should be reasonable and generous, in accordance with the son’s wishes and as agreed to between the parties, and suggested a minimum of 1 or 2 visits per week.

The father wanted to retain the previous schedule. He admitted that it would be challenging since his license was suspended, but that he expected that the license would eventually be reinstated. He also admitted to spending little time with the son during the summer.

The Final Decision

The court granted the mother’s request to change the custody terms, but emphasized that the son should still maintain regular visits with the father. The court’s reasoning was instructive, per the below.

Material Change in Circumstances

The court found that there was sufficient evidence to establish that there had been a material change of circumstances justifying a variation of the final order, the most dramatic of which was the father’s lack of response to communications from the mother regarding the son’s health. Additional concerns raised by the mother, including lack of care by the father when the son suffered a concussion, lack of timely attendance at sporting events and school when the son was in the father’s care, and failure by the father to ensure proper food and nutrition, also provided evidence that a material change in circumstances had occurred since the original custody and access order was issued.

Son’s Best Interest: Custody Arrangement

In terms of what custody arrangement was in the child’s best interests, the court found that the parents “do not possess the minimum ability to communicate in order to make major decisions as they pertain to [the son]”.

The court also noted the following:

  • Both parents have a strong bond with the son;
  • The son has lived primarily with the mother;
  • The mother has played the lead role with respect to the son’s schooling, medical needs, activities, and scheduling;
  • Each parent wants to play a role in parenting the son;
  • The mother has organized the son’s activities and competitive sports, and has managed his schedule;
  • The parents have been unable to implement a joint custody arrangement whereby they can both agree on final decisions about the son;
  • There was no evidence of meaningful exchange of information. Instead, communication between the parents was abrasive, contemptuous, and resorted to name-calling;
  • The father had deliberately ignored emails from the mother about the son, and had not demonstrated an willingness to work with her to make decisions about the son together;
  • The son’s time with his father is a chance for the son to play video games and provides him with “down time”.

The court went on to conclude:

  • It is important to ensure that the son’s needs (medical, educational, emotional, etc.) are met. The mother should continue in her primary role in this respect;
  • The father should continue to play a meaningful role;
  • The mother will have sole custody of the son, but will consult with the father before making any final decision, and will keep the father informed about all major decisions about the son;
  • The father will have a right to direct access to all of the son’s medical, dental, educational, or other records.
Son’s Best Interest: Parenting Schedule

In determining what schedule is in the son’s best interests, the court noted:

  • The son is very busy with after-school activities, including competitive hockey;
  • The father had a history of bringing the son to school and important sporting events late;
  • The father will only be able to take the son to his various activities once his driver’s license is reinstated;
  • The son should have a sense of relaxation which he currently enjoys at his father’s home in contrast with the rigors of a very busy schedule that he enjoys at his mother’s residence.

The court concluded that:

  • The son’s best interests dictate that he should be brought to school and sports in a timely manner, which the father was unable to do both before and after his license was suspended;
  • It is in the son’s best interest for there to be a routine with the mother playing the “lead parent” in terms of organizing his educational, medical, and sporting activities;
  • However, it is important, and also in the son’s best interests to see his father regularly, and that a schedule be set.

The court went on to outline a restricted access schedule for the father.

If you have questions about child custody and access, contact the Toronto family lawyers at Gelman & Associates. Our team strives to provide you with the information and resources needed so you can make informed decisions about family law matters. In addition to a comprehensive family law kit that all clients are given during their initial consultation, we also offer live webinars on divorce in Ontario and quarterly “Ask the Lawyer” live webinars. To help you maintain positive mental health during a difficult period, we also offer our clients a free consultation with a psychological professional. Call us at (416) 736-0200 or 1-844-736-0200 or contact us online for an initial consultation.

Written by Lisa Gelman

Senior Lawyer

Senior Lawyer Lisa Gelman has over 25 years of family law experience and founded Gelman & Associates to provide strategic legal counsel in family law matters concerning divorce, parenting, separation, and more.

Frequently Asked Questions - child custody & access

It is not uncommon for someone to want to relocate after a divorce. If you still live in the marital residence, the familiar surroundings and memories may be too much for your heart to handle. Or in the process of reinventing yourself post-divorce you may want to take a new job, move closer to your friends and family, or simply wish to start fresh somewhere new. There are many reasons a person may want to move after going through a divorce, however if you have children you will need to think twice before making a big move.

Emotionally, it can be challenging for a child to move to an unfamiliar place. Often, they are most at ease in a familiar environment with access to family and friends. Changing schools, living in a new city or even a new house can be difficult on a child, especially after dealing with the emotional turmoil associated with divorce.

Legally, there are certain implications to relocating away from the current jurisdiction where the children ordinarily reside. Before moving you and the noncustodial parent can negotiate with the absence of a lawyer, a written agreement about the moce and any changes to visitation that may be needed. If you cannot reach an agreement about the move, you then must file an Application/Motion to the court to hear your matter and for a judge to make a decision before you move. Usually the court requires at least 30 days notice to the other parent of your court Application/Motion. It may take longer to reach an agreement with the other parent or get a court order. It is a good idea to give notice of 90 days before the move, as as soon as possible and to consult with a lawyer first. Upon receiving this notice, they can challenge your proposed change of residence or apply for a variation to the existing custody or access orders.

The leading case that sets out the legal test in determining mobility is Gordon vs. Goertz (1996) 2. S.C.R. 27

Similar to any other action involving variation of an existing custody order, the person challenging the relocation has to show that the move will result in a material change in circumstances affecting the child. Once this has been established, a judge will determine the best interests of the child in light of the relevant circumstances. These relevant circumstances include the existing custody and access relationship, the relationship between the child and the custodial parent, the views of the child, and the reason for the proposed change of residence among other circumstances. As with every other custody proceeding, the judges determination will turn on the best interests of the child. The judge’s inquiry is individualized and will involve all factors relevant to the case at hand.

Because mobility has become so easy in today’s society, often separation agreements or custody orders will address relocation and place specific restrictions on changing residences. Non-removal clauses that ban the extra-provincial removal of children without consent of the noncustodial parent. In these cases, the custodial parent who wishes to relocate will have to initiate the action by placing an application with the court.

If you are contemplating a move, you must consider the emotional needs of your child, as well as your former spouse’s right to challenge your relocation. Typically, courts only allow a custodial parent to relocate if the proposed move is in good faith and not intended to frustrate the noncustodial parent’s relationship with the child. Additionally, if a custodial parent relocates, they must be willing to accommodate the noncustodial parent’s access to the child; sometimes this means that the relocating parent will have to pay the additional costs of access.

In sum, if you are a custodial parent, moving isn’t as easy as just loading up the car and hitting the road – but it is still possible.

Yes, but they will need to establish paternity, especially if the father and the mother separate. Here are the ways to establish paternity as recognized by the court:

  • Act of birth
  • Presumption of paternity
  • Uninterrupted possession of status
  • Voluntary declaration

No. Even when the parents are unmarried, divorced, or separated, one parent cannot keep the child from seeing the other unless the court deems it appropriate to the child’s best interests.

Historically, mothers have been more likely to get sole custody of their child in both consent and contested orders, as they are usually the child’s primary caregiver. However, as more mothers also work outside the home, courts could also rule in favor of the father.

The majority of judges strive to make decisions that are in your children’s best interest. Giving full custody to one parent is usually the best option, except in cases with concerns such as child or substance abuse. This typically means keeping in contact with and maintaining relationships with both parents.
You should do everything possible to prepare for the subsequent child custody negotiations, whether you’re a parent seeking full custody or shared custody:
Be honest with yourself about your ability to manage things alone, in terms of practicality, finances, and other factors. You may get the result you want by presenting the strongest case for custody by doing the following:

  • Make a Strategy: If custody is granted, a court will expect you to be ready. Compile thoughtful replies to hypothetical queries posed in court.
  • Speak with people who have gone through the child custody procedure before you. They may provide you advice and tell you what to anticipate.
  • Judges look for proof of a meaningful relationship in addition to making sure you can provide a child’s practical and basic needs. Simply put, be involved in your children’s lives.
  • Continue to pay child support regularly, whether you’re asking the court for full or shared custody. When you start the procedure, you’ll want to make sure you have a strong track record.
  • Keep a detailed log of your visitation schedule. This is a crucial aspect of obtaining child custody. Visitation records reflect how often you see your children under the present arrangements and your dependability, as well as dedication to them.
  • During all child custody hearings, the court will inquire about acceptable living accommodations. Even if you live in a tiny apartment, you should create a unique and secure environment for your child.
  • Courts may determine child custody in part by how you treat your child’s other parent. Being hostile or unpleasant to the other parent makes collaborative decision-making more complicated and can break apart parent-child ties. As a result, judges are more inclined to favor the parent who isn’t behaving badly.
  • While parents typically spend a lot of time thinking about what they believe is best for their children, children’s perspectives are sometimes overlooked. The court will be interested in learning what the children desire and will most likely question them directly at some point throughout the proceedings. You can better inform your decision-making by asking your child what they think.

No. Parenting time and child support are different from each other. While it is a child’s right to be provided with financial support, it is also their right to spend time with their parents. Thus, even if the child support was cancelled the parent formerly supporting can still enjoy parenting time with the child.

“There is no fixed age for when a child can say which parent they want to live with after a divorce. However, by law, a child must be 16 years old to decide on this matter. The exception to this is when there is a court order stating that a child/ren must live with one parent until they turn 17 or 18.

Under certain circumstances, it is possible to legally prevent your child/ren’s father from seeing or contacting them. It may be necessary if he presents a potential danger to your child/ren. If you were never married to the father of your child and there is no court order saying otherwise, you can do anything you want until paternity is confirmed.

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