The loss of a romantic partner, even if you didn’t get along or if you genuinely disliked each other, can be very traumatic.
When your spouse is gone, you’re subject to a variety of emotions. You may feel lonely or have a sense of emptiness. These feelings can be constant or they can be triggered at any time. For example, if you’re used to texting your spouse funny pictures you find online, or if you’ve developed a habit of getting his or her coffee ready in the morning, and you can no longer do those things, it’s normal to feel a pang of emptiness. It’s even normal to want to fill that void; just make sure you’re filling it with the right things.
Trying to Fill the Void Your Spouse Left
In most cases, it’s a bad idea to dive head-first into a new relationship. If you aren’t yet divorced, defer to your North York divorce lawyer before you start looking for romance—generally, you shouldn’t date while you’re still married. Aside from the emotional complications, there may be legal implications as well. While it almost goes without saying, alcohol and drugs are poor substitutes for healthy habits; so are other behaviours generally regarded as destructive.
Healthy Activities that Promote Healing and Self-Discovery
Learning to define yourself without your spouse is a vital part of the divorce recovery process, so it makes sense to reconnect with the person you were before you were married.
Spending time with friends, picking up old hobbies and trying new things can help fill the void your spouse left. At the same time, you’re rediscovering who you are, which helps to improve self-esteem and increases your resilience.
It’s Okay to Feel “Empty,” and it’s Okay to Move On
Reminding yourself that it’s okay to feel the void your partner has left can actually help you feel better. Nothing can replace the relationship that you had, but nothing should. Instead, rounding out your life with new experiences (or old ones revisited) will give you a stronger sense of self. Soon, your past relationship with your spouse won’t seem like a gaping hole in your life—it will simply be a closed chapter.
