Gelman & Associate's statement regarding COVID-19 - Read More

narcissistic exes

Dealing with a Narcissistic Ex

Going through a separation or divorce is never easy, and it’s even worse when an ex is a narcissist.  Because narcissists often initially come across as model citizens, often even charming, the spouse of a narcissist might not have initially picked up on the narcissism. Slowly, though, the façade melts away to reveal a person who believes the world revolves around him or her. They may accuse their spouse of preventing them from fulfilling their dreams, or claim that he/she controlled and manipulated every aspect of their life.  While a divorce might have been the best thing, it likely only brought out the worst in a narcissistic ex.

At Gelman & Associates, we often help clients who find themselves in a challenging situation with a narcissistic ex or soon-to-be ex. Our team of experienced and compassionate family lawyers who deal with narcissists has helped numerous clients who are leaving challenging situations.  We regularly provide forward-thinking legal advice. We are not afraid to get tough in negotiations or in court, if necessary.

Get some tips on how to deal with a narcissistic ex by reading this post.

Learn How to Deal with a Narcissistic Ex

Some Tips for Dealing with a Narcissistic Ex

Understand Them

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer” is a commonly uttered phrase. The same approach applies to a narcissistic ex. Narcissists often like to portray themselves as the victim, which puts their spouse in the position of villain.  Spouses of narcissists must also know that logic holds no value for someone who will completely ignore reason to get their own way.  It won’t matter how facts are presented if they don’t work for the narcissist’s agenda.

Don’t Stoop to Their Level

The narcissist may try to bait the spouse during necessary communications, such as discussions about their children’s schedules.   He or she may be insulting, berating, or try to start an argument.  Spouses of narcissists should not try to defend themselves or negate what is being said. They should stay calm and unemotional and simply ignore anything that doesn’t have to do with the matter at hand.

Don’t Do Them Any Favours

Narcissists thrive on constantly taking from people who always give.  Unfortunately, this means they usually don’t give back.  If a person allows their narcissistic ex to think they are a pushover, the ex will only continue to take advantage. Boundaries should be set and spouses should be prepared to dig in their heels and stand their ground.  Setting clear boundaries can limit the extreme emotional disturbance that arises when dealing with a narcissist, and can help provide some much-needed structure for children.

Know That You Can’t Change Them

A spouse may have tried to amend the behavior of their narcissistic partner when they were still in a relationship, and it didn’t work.  Spouses should therefore ask themselves whether their ex could possibly change after they are no longer together.   A narcissist will never put other people before their own needs or play by the same rules that everyone else does, and will therefore likely never amend their behaviour.  This should be top of mind for anyone dealing with a narcissistic ex, and should inform their strategy in moving forward.

  • Narcissists Always ...

    • Manipulate others to gain an advantage.
    • Hunger for affirmation.
    • See others as threats to their success or well-being.

  • Narcissists Never ...

    • Apologize or admit they’re wrong.
    • Allow themselves to be open-minded.
    • See beyond their own self-interests or desires.

Gelman & Associates:  Compassionate Family Lawyers Advising Clients on How to Deal with Narcissistic Exes

Going through a separation or divorce with a narcissistic ex can be downright exhausting.  That’s why, at Gelman & Associates, we offer a free consultation with a psychological professional if required.  We have the legal knowledge to ensure you are receiving sound legal advice, and we want you to have the same peace of mind when it comes to your well being.  We are conveniently located in Aurora, Barrie, Downtown Toronto, Mississauga, North York and Scarborough. Call us at (416) 736-0200 or 1-844-736-0200 or contact us online.

Contact Form - Contact Us

Fill out this form to request a free consultation (some exceptions apply) and someone will call or email you.

Personal Information

Contact Preferences

How would you like to be contacted? Click all that apply.

How can we help you?

Brief description of your legal issue:

The use of the Internet or this form for communication with the firm or any individual member of the firm is not secure and does not establish a lawyer-client relationship. Confidential or time-sensitive information should not be sent through this form.

Sending

From the Blog

Latest posts from the Gelman & Associates blog

12

Things to Consider When Writing a Separation Agreement

Writing a separation agreement is not an easy task. There are several things you need to know and consider. To be sure, get the help of a family lawyer.


Read More
12

Grandparent’s Rights in Canada: An Overview

Learn about grandparent’s rights for visitation and parenting time in Ontario. Contact a Gelman & Associates family lawyer for a free consultation.


Read More
06

Successful Co-Parenting With Your Ex

In 2020, roughly 2.71 million people filed for a legal divorce in Canada. The number has been steadily rising since 2000, when 1.88 million people filed for divorce in the country. With the increasing number of divorcees in Canada, more and more children are becoming victims of broken homes. Additionally, co-parenting can also be a …


Read More

Contact

Questions? Send us an email

Contact Form - Home
Sending