During your divorce, you might realize that you value your nanny more than ever. However, couples who employ a nanny have a unique set of considerations—including who gets “custody” of the nanny and how your children will adjust with the nanny’s help. Your North York divorce lawyer can help you come up with a child custody agreement that works for your whole family. He or she can also help you determine child support amounts that might include the nanny’s salary. Only your North York divorce lawyer can give you legal advice that’s based on your case, and you and your soon-to-be ex will most likely have to work together to reach agreements regarding the nanny that are fair to your children.
Deciding Where the Nanny Goes
If you have a live-in nanny, you’ll probably have to make a few adjustments when your ex has parenting time with your children. Talk to your North York divorce lawyer about including your nanny’s salary in the amount of child support you receive; he or she can tell you whether that will be a factor in your case.
Kids’ Attachments to Caregivers
During a divorce, kids may rely heavily on their nanny; they may view her as the only “constant” in their lives. If you’ve talked to your North York divorce lawyer about your situation and must consider letting your nanny go, your kids may not understand or appreciate your tough decision.
Your Nanny is a Person, Too
Most nannies are emotionally invested in your family; in fact, many are a huge part of the family. When you’re going through your divorce, be sure to keep your nanny up-to-date on important developments without dragging your ex through the mud. Since your nanny’s primary duty is to care for your children, allow her to stay out of your marital disputes and focus on what’s important.
Did Your Nanny Play a Role in Your Divorce?
While movies and books are packed with stories about nannies having flings with their employers, that’s not usually a realistic picture. However, some parents suggest that having a nanny allows a partner a free pass on parenting; he or she may think that since there’s a nanny, they can skimp on quality time with the kids while doing things for themselves—and that can be a big factor in divorce.
As you work out a custody arrangement with your spouse and your North York divorce lawyer, make sure you’re open and honest about your partner’s motivation to parent. Your lawyer can help you work out an agreement that works best for every member of your family, nanny and all.
