When people separate, it’s very common for second thoughts to flood in.
“Did I try hard enough?”
“I’m not sure I can make it on my own; should I go back?”
“I’m very lonely, and I think I still love her—maybe I did the wrong thing by leaving.”
These types of thoughts are completely normal and natural. In fact, statistics suggest that as many as 75 percent of people have second thoughts for up to a year after ending a marriage. Those feelings can come on as a result of fear, insecurity or a lack of self-confidence in the decisions you’ve made, and only you can determine whether you made the right choice.
Talking to a Barrie Divorce Lawyer
Before you separate from your spouse, talk to a Barrie divorce lawyer. Nobody likes to face uncertainty after a decision has been made. If you have a clear picture of what to expect after a separation, you’ll minimize the chances that you’ll second-guess yourself when the time comes.
When you talk to a Barrie divorce lawyer, he or she will help you look at several potential scenarios. Additionally, telling an impartial third party why you’re considering separation can help you put things into perspective.
Another benefit of discussing your situation with a Barrie divorce lawyer is getting your timing right; if you decide to separate from your spouse, your Barrie divorce lawyer will be able to help you determine the best time to do so (whether it’s waiting for the kids to finish school, holding off until you’ve saved enough money or waiting until your debts are paid off).
The Psychology of Second Thoughts
Even if you’ve talked to a Barrie divorce lawyer and have made the right decision, it’s psychologically normal to have second thoughts. Humans are hard-wired to make the best choices for survival (that’s why your gut instinct is usually right), and we’re fortunate enough to have analytical abilities. We generally analyze our past decisions in order to make even better choices in the future.
Research suggests that some people are more prone to over-analyze decisions, though. While a little introspection and some second-guessing are healthy processes, some people take it to extremes. If you’re having difficulty coping with the fact that you’ve separated from your spouse, give your Barrie divorce lawyer a call and ask for a referral to a local counsellor who specializes in divorce. Often, talking out your feelings with a third party is very beneficial.
