Lots of kids balk at the idea of their parents dating. That doesn’t mean you have to live like a hermit after your Mississauga divorce lawyer helps you get your divorce. Getting back on the dating scene can be healthy for everyone in your family—but there are a few ground rules to observe and special circumstances to consider.
Why Kids Don’t Want Mom or Dad to Date
In many cases, kids resist the idea of mom and dad dating other people because they hold out hope for a reconciliation. Some kids already face limited time with one parent or the other, and they’re reluctant to give up any more. Almost inevitably, the idea of mom or dad dating leads to the idea of mom or dad remarrying someone else, and then, bringing even more change to kids’ lives.
Children often feel that if they like someone new, they’re being disloyal to one of their parents. This can cause emotional tumult that’s hard for kids to deal with. In some cases, parents don’t properly prepare their kids for a new relationship; kids then feel insecure and can act out in response.
Dating too soon after divorce can cause problems for both you and your kids. Talk to your Mississauga divorce lawyer about the right time to jump back in the dating pool. He or she will likely advise you to wait until your divorce is final. While it may be tempting to listen to well-meaning family and friends, remember that only your Mississauga divorce lawyer can provide you with accurate legal advice based on your unique situation.
Helping Kids Deal with Dating
When you start dating, it’ll be a big change for your kids. Have a heart-to-heart talk with them before you go out with someone new, and take the time to reassure them that you will always love them and make time for them.
After your kids are comfortable with the idea, you’ll probably want to wait until you’re sure a relationship is serious before you introduce a new partner to your kids. Your children, no matter how old, can be a little shy about getting to know your new partner; that’s perfectly normal. They may be worried that you will be hurt again, or they might be reluctant to get attached to an adult who might not stick around.
If your kids are having a hard time adjusting to the fact that you’re dating, give your Mississauga divorce lawyer a call and ask if he or she knows a local counsellor or therapist who can help your family. Sometimes talking things through with an impartial third party can help all of you gain insight and cope with unexplored feelings.
