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Navigating Your Own Children and Their Half-Siblings

Published: March 17, 2013

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Navigating Your Own Children and Their Half-Siblings

After your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer has helped you to obtain a divorce order and you’ve moved on with your life, you may end up in a relationship with someone who has kids. You might also go on to have more children with a new partner. In both cases, many parents find it difficult to bridge the gap between step-siblings and half-siblings—and that’s completely normal, according to psychologists.

Challenges Blended Families Face

In a blended family, some of the children might feel that others receive preferential treatment. Additionally, different parents have different parenting styles; that means your stepchildren might have different rules at your house and different rules at their other parent’s house. Schedules often conflict, and parents have to juggle kids’ activities and visits with their own obligations. On top of all that, step-siblings and half-siblings might not get along.

While all that sounds overwhelming, handling things the right way can bring your blended family closer together. As a parent, your goal is probably to run a harmonious household that works like a well-oiled machine… but as a realistic parent, it’s more reasonable to aim for days that don’t end in tears or hospital visits.

Fair is Fair

When you set a rule in your house, everyone has to abide by it. In a blended family, there’s no room for exceptions. Allowing one child to do something that another cannot (aside from age-appropriate activities and bedtimes) isn’t fair and can drive a wedge between you and the kids—and between you and your spouse.

Avoid playing favourites at all costs, even if you do secretly prefer your own mild-mannered child to your boisterous stepchild. Kids are incredibly intuitive, and they’ll spot your favouritism from a mile away.

It’s Okay to Ask for Help

Being part of a blended family is tough, and sometimes venting your feelings or taking a short break is all you need to rejuvenate yourself and get back on track. When you’re overwhelmed, reach out to family and friends for help.

If you’re not comfortable talking to your family or friends about your stresses, consider calling your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer to ask for a referral to a counselor or therapist who can help. Your lawyer might also know of local support groups for people in situations similar to yours.

When to Call Your Richmond Hill Divorce Lawyer

There are some situations that require you to call a Richmond Hill divorce lawyer, even if your divorce was years ago. If your kids or your spouse’s kids return from their other parent’s house talking about abuse or domestic violence, or if the other parent interferes with your time with the kids, call a lawyer right away to find out what steps you need to take.

Written by Lisa Gelman

Senior Lawyer

Senior Lawyer Lisa Gelman has over 25 years of family law experience and founded Gelman & Associates to provide strategic legal counsel in family law matters concerning divorce, parenting, separation, and more.

Frequently Asked Questions - divorce & separation

If you are litigating your matter, social media posts made by your spouse or partner may be relevant, especially if they contradict what your spouse is claiming in his or her pleadings.

For example, if a spouse is claiming financial hardship, a Facebook post that shows that spouse going on an expensive trip or posing with an expensive car can undermine such claim  and, potentially affect that party’s credibility in court if presented as evidence on a motion or at trial.

Further to photograph-based posts, statements that are made on social media by one party can be relevant if said posts (i) are related to the litigation, to issues of parenting  and/or (b) they contradict statements that were made by the party in his or her pleadings. For example, if a party who is attempting to establish that he or she is an appropriate custodial parent, then recent social media posts about extensive partying and drug use made by that party may be relevant in court, as they may speak to that party’s fitness when it comes to appropriate supervision of a child in his or her care.

The Ontario Attorney General’s website estimates that divorce proceedings can take approximately four to six months to complete, provided that all documents have been appropriately accomplished and submitted on time.

No. The law does not favour mothers over fathers in divorce proceedings. The judge will base his decision on the evidence laid out by both parties.

The main distinction between divorce and separation is that divorce ends your marriage formally. You and your partner are no longer married.
If you’re separated, you’re still legally married to each other even if you receive a formal separation, and you must continue to record that you’re married on documents.

No. You are not required to get a lawyer for a divorce. However, it is best if you retain one to ensure that you fully understand all your rights and obligations.

A joint divorce application occurs when you and your spouse both agree to a divorce and on all other family law matters such as parenting, spousal support, or division of property.

Yes, it is different. Family law problems are addressed mainly by provincial laws in Ontario. Divorce law, on the other hand, is controlled by federal legislation in the form of the Divorce Act, which applies uniformly across the country.

Divorce can be a difficult decision to make, especially if you’re unsure if your partner will sign the petition. However, a divorce does not require your partner’s consent. Although it may be a long process if your partner doesn’t comply, they will not be able to stop you indefinitely.

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