When you’ve decided to move on to the next chapter in your life, and that chapter does not include your current spouse, you’re faced with a tough task: you’ve got to tell your friends and family you’re getting a divorce. It’s very important to wait until you’ve had an in-depth conversation with your Barrie divorce lawyer about starting divorce proceedings before you start making phone calls to family and friends.
Your parents, your siblings and your children will likely be the first group of people you tell – and you may be nervous about breaking the news to people you care so much about (and who will be most affected by your choice). As your Barrie divorce lawyer can tell you, many people tell their immediate families first, followed by their friends; in some cases, a trusted family member or close friend passes the news on to others.
Many people experience extreme stress over telling their kids, family members and friends about divorce; if you’re not sure how to proceed, ask your Barrie divorce lawyer if he or she can refer you to a counselor or family therapist who can help you prepare and deal with the consequences.
Telling Your Kids about Your Divorce
Your children will likely be the first people you need to tell about your divorce. Make sure you’ve spoken extensively with your Barrie divorce lawyer before breaking the news to your kids to gain insight on the best time to break the news; when you do, make sure you’re in an environment where the kids feel comfortable.
If it’s possible, you and your spouse should tell your kids together. That way, they’ll know that you’re still on the same page when it comes to parenting.
Depending on your kids’ ages, a concise explanation such as, “Each of us still loves you very much, and we’ve decided that we’ll be able to be better parents if we change our lifestyles,” is generally a good start. Make sure you and your spouse are accessible and approachable so kids can be comfortable asking you questions.
Telling Your Parents, Siblings and Friends about Your Divorce
You may choose to tell your immediate family about your divorce with or without your spouse present. Start with the family member you expect to provide the most support and work your way out – but don’t be surprised at the various reactions you’ll get.
No matter which family members and friends you’re telling, it’s best to get to the point quickly. Be tactful and as respectful of your spouse as possible, and let your family and friends know that you need their support during this difficult time.
If your spouse asks you to join him or her when it’s time to tell your in-laws, cooperate as much as possible. Keeping a cool head will go a long way toward preserving your relationship with them and your former spouse, and that’s especially important if you have children.