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When your spouse tells you it’s over, it’s natural to experience a wide range of emotions that includes shock, grief and anger. You might be tempted to lash out, and that’s natural too—but it’s not usually a good idea, especially when you consider the possible ramifications. Your Barrie divorce lawyer will probably recommend that you keep your cool every time you deal with your ex, because anger isn’t conducive to a successful divorce.

The Words “It’s Over” Surprise Many People

Even if you’ve been fighting frequently or you feel you’ve drifted apart from your spouse, hearing that your marriage is over might come as a surprise. The most important thing to do when your spouse tells you is to try to remain calm. Call a Barrie divorce lawyer as soon as you’re able and refrain from saying anything to your spouse that might come back to haunt you later.

Tell your Barrie divorce lawyer the entire story: what led up to your spouse’s announcement, how you reacted and what you said, and what your current situation looks like—especially if you’re dealing with domestic violence. Your Barrie divorce lawyer can provide you with legal advice that will help you move forward in the best way possible.

Lashing Out: What Harm Can it Do?

Calling your soon-to-be ex a few choice names, yelling or slamming a few doors might seem cathartic, but the long-term consequences can be devastating. Your actions now can set the tone for your entire divorce, and your Barrie divorce lawyer will probably recommend that you try to keep things as peaceful as possible.

Giving in to your anger can have negative physical effects, like spikes in blood pressure, headaches and anxiety. Aside from those, however, your anger can evoke nasty responses from your ex. If you have an angry, knee-jerk reaction, your ex might be less willing to work with you toward a fair, equitable divorce settlement.

Keeping Your Cool during Divorce

Your Barrie divorce lawyer has probably worked with many couples in situations very similar to yours. He or she can tell you from experience that it’s usually better to keep your cool and not let your emotions take over, no matter how angry your ex makes you, right from the start.

If you’re having a difficult time moving past your anger, ask your Barrie divorce lawyer if he or she can refer you to a local counsellor or therapist who can work with you to manage your feelings. You don’t have to cope with your feelings all alone, and your Barrie divorce lawyer might have access to resources that can help.