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Separation Agreement Anxiety

Published: December 8, 2010

Last Updated: September 9, 2025

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Separation Agreement Anxiety

Separation Agreement Anxiety

Separation is the most complex aspect of getting a divorce. You may not know the difference between the two concepts but separation and divorce are two separate events with different requirements and steps. In order to legally end your marriage in Ontario, you require both – a separation and a divorce.

The separation part begins as soon as you or your spouse decide to separate and have no reasonable prospect of getting back together. Often this is when one spouse expresses their desire to end the marriage.

Once you decide to separate, you should move quickly to draft a separation agreement. Your first step should include seeking the advice of a Toronto divorce lawyer to help you figure out all the complex details. A separation agreement is a legal document which lays out all of your rights and responsibilities. It can include the separation of property, custody, child support, and spousal support provisions. It lays the groundwork for you to continue your lives separately.

You must understand, however, that the separation agreement does not actually end the marriage. There is only one way of doing that and that is by getting a divorce. The divorce can be received, generally, only after one year of separation and does not deal with all the factors of your separation agreement as long as everything has been considered, particularly custody and support of children.

The difficulty in drafting the separation agreement is that you are forced to negotiate and make decisions that are critical at a time when you are under tremendous stress and emotional turmoil. This is not easy.

There are important issues which should be dealt with relatively quickly. Your Toronto divorce lawyer can then help you navigate the negotiations and possibly help you to take your claims to the court to get more help.

Of course, reaching consensus directly with your ex-partner is the best way of handling separation agreements. This is the way most people are able to settle issues. However, sometimes people are just unable to come to an agreement and that is what the courts are there for.

So, as hard as it is, relax, think straight and get help as soon as you need it. Soon enough all your issues will be resolved and you can focus on the rest of your life.

Written by Lisa Gelman

Senior Lawyer

Senior Lawyer Lisa Gelman has over 25 years of family law experience and founded Gelman & Associates to provide strategic legal counsel in family law matters concerning divorce, parenting, separation, and more.

Frequently Asked Questions - divorce & separation

If you or your spouse are not in Canada, you can not get a divorce. However, you can end your marriage under the Civil Marriage Act. You can only end your marriage in Canada and not another country because your marriage is only valid in Canada.

Yes, you can date while separated in Canada. However, there is a legal implication to that. If the timing of your new relationship comes into question during your divorce, your relationship may be considered as an affair or adultery.

Yes. Our legal services are available in person, online, and over the phone. In addition, although our main office is located in Toronto, we have over 8 additional satellite offices located throughout central, southern, western, and eastern Ontario to serve family law clients across the province.

If you are litigating your matter, social media posts made by your spouse or partner may be relevant, especially if they contradict what your spouse is claiming in his or her pleadings.

For example, if a spouse is claiming financial hardship, a Facebook post that shows that spouse going on an expensive trip or posing with an expensive car can undermine such claim and potentially affect that party’s credibility in court if presented as evidence on a motion or at trial.

Further to photograph-based posts, statements that are made on social media by one party can be relevant if said posts (i) are related to the litigation, to issues of parenting and/or (b) contradict statements that were made by the party in his or her pleadings. For example, if a party is attempting to establish that he or she is an appropriate custodial parent, then recent social media posts about extensive partying and drug use made by that party may be relevant in court, as they may speak to that party’s fitness when it comes to appropriate supervision of a child in his or her care.

Yes, you can separate from your spouse. Separation does not have to lead to divorce. However, if you plan to remarry, you must file for divorce after one year of separation. Also, you may want to consider that if you just leave, your spouse may file for spousal support or child support.

It is advised however that before leaving, you try to have a separation agreement with your spouse.

Divorce can be a difficult decision to make, especially if you’re unsure if your partner will sign the petition. However, a divorce does not require your partner’s consent. Although it may be a long process if your partner doesn’t comply, they will not be able to stop you indefinitely.

The only ground for a divorce in Canada’s Divorce Act is marriage breakdown. This could include spousal infidelity, although infidelity alone could be difficult and emotionally taxing to prove in court.

You are not legally required to retain a lawyer to apply for divorce. However, a divorce application may involve important questions about parenting, support, property and procedural requirements. Independent legal advice can help you understand how a proposed agreement or court application may affect you.

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If you need legal advice regarding divorce & separation matters in Ontario, contact our Toronto family law lawyers for a free consultation. Some conditions may apply.

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