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Whether your marriage has lost its spark, you’re ready to head in a different direction or you have one of a million other reasons, the time may come that you need to tell your spouse it’s over. That’s much easier said than done. In fact, psychologists suggest that breaking the news of a split to your spouse is one of the toughest situations you’ll ever face. In most cases, you should talk to a Barrie divorce lawyer before you have the “It’s Over” discussion with your spouse; that way, you can be sure you’re making the right decision at the right time.

Watch What You Say (and How You Say It)

When you tell your spouse that you want a divorce, you need to tread softly—even if you’re not particularly concerned about his or her emotions. Choose a time where you and your spouse can be alone, and uninterrupted, for quite a while.

Hurt, anger and resentment do not contribute to successful divorces; neither does a breach of trust. When your spouse’s emotions take control of the situation, you’re less likely to achieve the results you want, from property division to custody arrangements. Try to keep your delivery as gentle and simple as possible.

Be Prepared for What’s Next

While your Barrie divorce lawyer can prepare you for the legal side of what happens after you break the news, he or she can’t tell you how your spouse will react. In most cases, even when a marriage has been troubled for a long time, the spouse being told is usually surprised.

Your spouse may try to talk you out of your decision, become accusatory or express concern about the future. Psychologists suggest that listening to your spouse’s concerns while remaining firm in your decision will keep you both on the best path.

Remember that your spouse, however uncaring he or she may have seemed prior to hearing the news, is in pain. Even if you feel your spouse is attacking you for making this decision, stay calm. Don’t fight back, because situations like these can easily spiral out of control.

If your spouse resorts to domestic violence, leave and call the police immediately. As soon as you are safe and the police have been notified, call your Barrie divorce lawyer to apprise him or her of the situation.

Updating Your Barrie Divorce Lawyer

After you have this discussion with your spouse, tell your Barrie divorce lawyer how it went. The initial conversation often sets the tone for the divorce, so if emotions ran high you may be in for a rough ride. However, you can regain control of the situation by following your Barrie divorce lawyer’s advice on how to handle interactions with your spouse.

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