After your Barrie divorce lawyer has helped you to obtain your divorce, you might be eager to test the waters in the dating pool. But are you really ready?
There are several ways to tell whether it’s time to get back on the dating scene or if you need a little more time for personal healing, self-esteem building or other growth. If you start dating too soon, you’ll probably end up with more than a few headaches and a couple of heartaches. Through careful—and honest—self-evaluation, you’ll be able to know whether you’re ready or not.
First Things First
You should almost always wait until your divorce is final before you start dating again. If you choose not to wait, make sure you talk to your Barrie divorce lawyer ahead of time. Dating during divorce proceedings can change the outcome of your case, so it’s extremely important to check with your lawyer if you’re considering starting a new relationship.
How Will You Know?
Going on dates can lead to long-term relationships, so you want to make sure you can handle one if the possibility presents itself—even if you think you’re only going out to have a little fun. Common sense tells us that a person who spends every waking moment pining for their ex isn’t yet ready to date someone new. Other things aren’t so clear-cut, though.
You probably aren’t ready to start a new romantic relationship if:
- Every time you talk to your friends or family, your ex comes up (either in a positive or negative light)
- You generally mistrust members of the opposite sex because of “what your ex did to you”
- You can’t bear to let go of mementos that remind you of your ex—or you can’t bear to look at them because all the hurt, anger and resentment bubbles up and ruins your day
- You view the dating period as an internship for your next potential spouse
If you’ve successfully let go of most of the emotional baggage your ex left behind, though, you’re probably ready to start venturing out with new people. Your self-confidence, which may have been severely damaged during your divorce, must have rebounded to (or beyond) its original level, and you must be sure that you have room in your life to share it with someone new.
Jumping in with Both Feet
Like everything else in life, it’s best to start slow when you begin dating after divorce. Your Barrie divorce lawyer could probably talk for hours about people who rush into relationships that end badly. When some people dive into new relationships, they ignore the obvious red flags in an effort to fulfill an immediate need for companionship and intimacy, and that’s a recipe for disaster.