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3 Things Soccer Can Teach Us about Divorce

Published: September 10, 2013

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3 Things Soccer Can Teach Us about Divorce

Soccer and divorce?

While there are more than 17 rules in divorce (there’s a Divorce Act in Ontario that your Mississauga divorce lawyer can fill you in on, if you’d like), there are a few parallels we can pull from the sport that might help you navigate the process more easily.

Pay Attention to the Referee… and Observe the Rules

Your Mississauga divorce lawyer might suggest that you use mediation to come to resolutions that work for your family when you’re negotiating. If you don’t work with a mediator, you still have to observe the rules or you’ll be penalized. Sure, you can’t be ejected from your own divorce—but you can quickly lose any ground you’ve gained if you use under-handed tactics (like using your kids against your ex or going back on your word).

Spectators Belong on the Sidelines

While your friends and family have good intentions, they shouldn’t be active participants in your divorce. Neither should new romantic interests. Remember, only your Mississauga divorce lawyer is qualified to give you legal advice; he or she is familiar with Ontario law and how it applies to your case.

In the same vein, your friends and family shouldn’t try to intervene or serve as go-betweens with you and your ex. Generally, this only results in more complications that you would be better off avoiding.

Good Sportsmanship During and After the Game

Understanding that divorce isn’t a competition—rather, it’s a workable issue that has a finite solution—can help you remember that you’ll need to stay flexible and be courteous to your ex. This is particularly important if you have children, because they’re learning about solving conflicts by watching how you handle this situation.

If you find it impossible to work with your ex, let your Mississauga divorce lawyer know. He or she can draw on past experiences to develop strategies that can help your family come through this tough time without getting too off-track during the process.

Written by Lisa Gelman

Senior Lawyer

Senior Lawyer Lisa Gelman has over 25 years of family law experience and founded Gelman & Associates to provide strategic legal counsel in family law matters concerning divorce, parenting, separation, and more.

Frequently Asked Questions - divorce & separation

If you are litigating your matter, social media posts made by your spouse or partner may be relevant, especially if they contradict what your spouse is claiming in his or her pleadings.

For example, if a spouse is claiming financial hardship, a Facebook post that shows that spouse going on an expensive trip or posing with an expensive car can undermine such claim  and, potentially affect that party’s credibility in court if presented as evidence on a motion or at trial.

Further to photograph-based posts, statements that are made on social media by one party can be relevant if said posts (i) are related to the litigation, to issues of parenting  and/or (b) they contradict statements that were made by the party in his or her pleadings. For example, if a party who is attempting to establish that he or she is an appropriate custodial parent, then recent social media posts about extensive partying and drug use made by that party may be relevant in court, as they may speak to that party’s fitness when it comes to appropriate supervision of a child in his or her care.

The Ontario Attorney General’s website estimates that divorce proceedings can take approximately four to six months to complete, provided that all documents have been appropriately accomplished and submitted on time.

No. The law does not favour mothers over fathers in divorce proceedings. The judge will base his decision on the evidence laid out by both parties.

The main distinction between divorce and separation is that divorce ends your marriage formally. You and your partner are no longer married.
If you’re separated, you’re still legally married to each other even if you receive a formal separation, and you must continue to record that you’re married on documents.

No. You are not required to get a lawyer for a divorce. However, it is best if you retain one to ensure that you fully understand all your rights and obligations.

A joint divorce application occurs when you and your spouse both agree to a divorce and on all other family law matters such as parenting, spousal support, or division of property.

Yes, it is different. Family law problems are addressed mainly by provincial laws in Ontario. Divorce law, on the other hand, is controlled by federal legislation in the form of the Divorce Act, which applies uniformly across the country.

Divorce can be a difficult decision to make, especially if you’re unsure if your partner will sign the petition. However, a divorce does not require your partner’s consent. Although it may be a long process if your partner doesn’t comply, they will not be able to stop you indefinitely.

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