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Divorcing an ill Spouse

Published: June 3, 2013

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Divorcing an ill Spouse

Many people put off getting a divorce—even when it’s inevitable—for a variety of reasons. However, that’s often to their detriment. Staying in an unhappy marriage, particularly if it’s causing you an unbearable amount of stress, can create deep-seated resentment and anger issues. In some cases, you’re far better off discussing your options with a Toronto divorce lawyer, even when there are extenuating circumstances such as your spouse’s health.

When Your Spouse is Sick

Whether your spouse is suffering from a physical or a mental illness, the challenges you may have to face can seem insurmountable. So many factors can negatively impact your marriage, from financial issues you never expected to being forced into a caregiver role that you’re just not equipped for. You might also be married to someone with an addiction, which most mental health professionals consider an illness, and relationships like those are often very one-sided.

Talking to a Toronto divorce lawyer who can help you tackle the tough questions, such as when you become legally separated and whether you’ll be ordered to pay spousal support, can help give you a clear picture of possible outcomes for your case.

Listening to Well-Meaning Friends and Family

Since your case is so unique, you’ll need to exercise extreme caution when listening to the advice of well-meaning family and friends. Instead, turn to your Toronto divorce lawyer when you have questions or need advice; that’s the only way to be sure you’re helping, not harming, your case.

Considerations on Custody Agreements

If you have children, your child custody agreement may need to be more detailed than most, particularly if your spouse is incapacitated. Your lawyer can help you determine how much child support, if any, to ask for and what type of visitation schedule works best for your family.

The Emotional Consequences

Divorce is tough on everyone, and you’ll likely need to rely on a trusted support network. Your Toronto divorce lawyer might suggest that you talk to a therapist to prepare yourself for the emotional consequences of divorcing a sick spouse. That’s because it’s not uncommon for family and friends to misunderstand your reasons and attempt to sway your decision. They may also try to make you feel guilty or refuse to speak to you.

The Final Decision

When you’re contemplating divorce, especially when your spouse is ill, you’ll need to weigh your options carefully. Your spouse’s illness might affect the outcome of your case, and your Toronto divorce lawyer will be able to pinpoint possible hang-ups, problems or unintended effects. Ultimately, you’ll need to make the choice based on what’s best for you alone.

Written by Lisa Gelman

Senior Lawyer

Senior Lawyer Lisa Gelman has over 25 years of family law experience and founded Gelman & Associates to provide strategic legal counsel in family law matters concerning divorce, parenting, separation, and more.

Frequently Asked Questions - divorce & separation

If you are litigating your matter, social media posts made by your spouse or partner may be relevant, especially if they contradict what your spouse is claiming in his or her pleadings.

For example, if a spouse is claiming financial hardship, a Facebook post that shows that spouse going on an expensive trip or posing with an expensive car can undermine such claim  and, potentially affect that party’s credibility in court if presented as evidence on a motion or at trial.

Further to photograph-based posts, statements that are made on social media by one party can be relevant if said posts (i) are related to the litigation, to issues of parenting  and/or (b) they contradict statements that were made by the party in his or her pleadings. For example, if a party who is attempting to establish that he or she is an appropriate custodial parent, then recent social media posts about extensive partying and drug use made by that party may be relevant in court, as they may speak to that party’s fitness when it comes to appropriate supervision of a child in his or her care.

The Ontario Attorney General’s website estimates that divorce proceedings can take approximately four to six months to complete, provided that all documents have been appropriately accomplished and submitted on time.

No. The law does not favour mothers over fathers in divorce proceedings. The judge will base his decision on the evidence laid out by both parties.

The main distinction between divorce and separation is that divorce ends your marriage formally. You and your partner are no longer married.
If you’re separated, you’re still legally married to each other even if you receive a formal separation, and you must continue to record that you’re married on documents.

No. You are not required to get a lawyer for a divorce. However, it is best if you retain one to ensure that you fully understand all your rights and obligations.

A joint divorce application occurs when you and your spouse both agree to a divorce and on all other family law matters such as parenting, spousal support, or division of property.

Yes, it is different. Family law problems are addressed mainly by provincial laws in Ontario. Divorce law, on the other hand, is controlled by federal legislation in the form of the Divorce Act, which applies uniformly across the country.

Divorce can be a difficult decision to make, especially if you’re unsure if your partner will sign the petition. However, a divorce does not require your partner’s consent. Although it may be a long process if your partner doesn’t comply, they will not be able to stop you indefinitely.

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