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Fighting with Your Ex – Is it Really Worth It?

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Fighting with Your Ex – Is it Really Worth It?

When a marriage ends, the stress of communicating with each other can be overwhelming. Emotions run high during divorce, but for your own sake, it’s wise to keep the stress to a minimum… but that’s easier said than done.

Relying on Your Brampton Divorce Lawyer

Many people choose to leave communication to their Brampton divorce lawyers. In some cases, though, you’ll have to deal with your ex – especially when it comes to making arrangements for your children, making important decisions about your assets, and a handful of other situations. You and your ex should work out issues such as property division, child custody and visitation, and other significant decisions to the extent that you’re able.

Remember that disagreeing and fighting are two completely different things. Disagreements are fine. They’re normal during divorce. But fighting? Fighting should be kept to a minimum for several reasons, and your mental health is one of them.

Choosing Your Battles

Your divorce lawyer will probably advise you that choosing your battles is the smartest strategy. Like marriage, divorce is give-and-take; what you’re both trying to do is survive it with minimal emotional damage, and you won’t have any less emotional damage by inflicting pain on your ex.

In fact, you may suffer more if you choose to fight with your ex.

When you’re combative, your ex will automatically assume a defensive position. He or she will be more likely to lash out, and then you’ll be forced to be defensive – and it’s an endless cycle that won’t do anyone any good.

When to Involve Your Lawyer

It’s best if you and your ex can come to agreements on your own terms, but that’s not always possible. When you can’t agree on something, or if your ex is limiting your time with your children or otherwise trying to make your life difficult, take the issues to your lawyer.

Written by Lisa Gelman

Senior Lawyer

Senior Lawyer Lisa Gelman has over 25 years of family law experience and founded Gelman & Associates to provide strategic legal counsel in family law matters concerning divorce, parenting, separation, and more.

Frequently Asked Questions - divorce & separation

If you are litigating your matter, social media posts made by your spouse or partner may be relevant, especially if they contradict what your spouse is claiming in his or her pleadings.

For example, if a spouse is claiming financial hardship, a Facebook post that shows that spouse going on an expensive trip or posing with an expensive car can undermine such claim  and, potentially affect that party’s credibility in court if presented as evidence on a motion or at trial.

Further to photograph-based posts, statements that are made on social media by one party can be relevant if said posts (i) are related to the litigation, to issues of parenting  and/or (b) they contradict statements that were made by the party in his or her pleadings. For example, if a party who is attempting to establish that he or she is an appropriate custodial parent, then recent social media posts about extensive partying and drug use made by that party may be relevant in court, as they may speak to that party’s fitness when it comes to appropriate supervision of a child in his or her care.

The Ontario Attorney General’s website estimates that divorce proceedings can take approximately four to six months to complete, provided that all documents have been appropriately accomplished and submitted on time.

No. The law does not favour mothers over fathers in divorce proceedings. The judge will base his decision on the evidence laid out by both parties.

The main distinction between divorce and separation is that divorce ends your marriage formally. You and your partner are no longer married.
If you’re separated, you’re still legally married to each other even if you receive a formal separation, and you must continue to record that you’re married on documents.

No. You are not required to get a lawyer for a divorce. However, it is best if you retain one to ensure that you fully understand all your rights and obligations.

A joint divorce application occurs when you and your spouse both agree to a divorce and on all other family law matters such as parenting, spousal support, or division of property.

Yes, it is different. Family law problems are addressed mainly by provincial laws in Ontario. Divorce law, on the other hand, is controlled by federal legislation in the form of the Divorce Act, which applies uniformly across the country.

Divorce can be a difficult decision to make, especially if you’re unsure if your partner will sign the petition. However, a divorce does not require your partner’s consent. Although it may be a long process if your partner doesn’t comply, they will not be able to stop you indefinitely.

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If you need legal advice regarding divorce & separation matters in Ontario, contact our Toronto family law lawyers for a free consultation. Some conditions may apply.

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