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How to Deal with Angry Ex-In-Laws

Published: November 17, 2014

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How to Deal with Angry Ex-In-Laws

During a divorce, it’s not uncommon to deal with the whole spectrum of emotions – and that goes for everyone involved. You, your ex-spouse, and your immediate families are all affected by the split. That means in-laws, too, and whether or not you wanted the divorce, your ex’s parents might be pretty angry over the whole ordeal.

How to Deal with Angry Ex-In-Laws

Your Brampton divorce lawyer has probably already told you that you should keep the peace as best you can; that extends to your in-laws, as well. There are several reasons for trying to keep your divorce conflict-free, and one of them is your own mental health. Further, it’s best to cooperate with your ex as much as possible because that way, you can come up with solutions that work for everyone involved.

It’s not always easy, though. Some in-laws are particularly contentious, and they’re not afraid to chime in about your personal business. While it may not be as personal as it feels (they’re hurting for their child, brother or sister), remember that it’s not okay for them to involve your children. If they do, you’ll need to let your Brampton divorce lawyer know right away; you want your divorce to go as smoothly as possible for your kids, and seeing family conflict can cause significant emotional trauma.

Any psychologist can tell you that the best way to diffuse anger is to remain calm. There are several routes you can take if one of your ex-in-laws confronts you angrily:

  • Don’t argue back. Listen, and tell them that you understand that they’re hurt, upset or angry.
  • Ask to talk about it later, in a more appropriate setting. This is particularly helpful if you’re in a public setting or if your children are around.
  • Leave the situation. If you can’t stay calm under the circumstances, excuse yourself. It’s better to say nothing at all than to say something you’ll regret later.

It’s normal for your family to be upset with your ex, as well, so try to keep that in mind if you’ve been scratched off your ex-in-laws’ list of favorite people. The better you can get along with everyone involved, including your ex’s family, the better your chances of having a successful divorce that provides an outcome that reasonably satisfies both of you.

Written by Lisa Gelman

Senior Lawyer

Senior Lawyer Lisa Gelman has over 25 years of family law experience and founded Gelman & Associates to provide strategic legal counsel in family law matters concerning divorce, parenting, separation, and more.

Frequently Asked Questions - divorce & separation

If you are litigating your matter, social media posts made by your spouse or partner may be relevant, especially if they contradict what your spouse is claiming in his or her pleadings.

For example, if a spouse is claiming financial hardship, a Facebook post that shows that spouse going on an expensive trip or posing with an expensive car can undermine such claim  and, potentially affect that party’s credibility in court if presented as evidence on a motion or at trial.

Further to photograph-based posts, statements that are made on social media by one party can be relevant if said posts (i) are related to the litigation, to issues of parenting  and/or (b) they contradict statements that were made by the party in his or her pleadings. For example, if a party who is attempting to establish that he or she is an appropriate custodial parent, then recent social media posts about extensive partying and drug use made by that party may be relevant in court, as they may speak to that party’s fitness when it comes to appropriate supervision of a child in his or her care.

The Ontario Attorney General’s website estimates that divorce proceedings can take approximately four to six months to complete, provided that all documents have been appropriately accomplished and submitted on time.

No. The law does not favour mothers over fathers in divorce proceedings. The judge will base his decision on the evidence laid out by both parties.

The main distinction between divorce and separation is that divorce ends your marriage formally. You and your partner are no longer married.
If you’re separated, you’re still legally married to each other even if you receive a formal separation, and you must continue to record that you’re married on documents.

No. You are not required to get a lawyer for a divorce. However, it is best if you retain one to ensure that you fully understand all your rights and obligations.

A joint divorce application occurs when you and your spouse both agree to a divorce and on all other family law matters such as parenting, spousal support, or division of property.

Yes, it is different. Family law problems are addressed mainly by provincial laws in Ontario. Divorce law, on the other hand, is controlled by federal legislation in the form of the Divorce Act, which applies uniformly across the country.

Divorce can be a difficult decision to make, especially if you’re unsure if your partner will sign the petition. However, a divorce does not require your partner’s consent. Although it may be a long process if your partner doesn’t comply, they will not be able to stop you indefinitely.

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