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Is Mediation for You?

Published: December 19, 2012

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Is Mediation for You?

Most people find negotiating a fair settlement tough during divorce. Anger, hurt and resentment often cloud the real issues, like who’s responsible for which debts, who gets the house and other assets, and even who gets to pick up the kids from school on holiday weekends. While this is normal, these issues don’t have to complicate your case. You might want to talk to your Toronto divorce lawyer about working with a mediator (including mediators at Gelman & Associates) who can help you reach fair solutions more quickly than you could on your own (and as an added bonus, you’ll probably save money, too).

What Does a Mediator Do?

Unlike your Toronto divorce lawyer, who is always on your side, a mediator is only on the side of fairness. With the proper professionalism and training in legal matters, a mediator can help you and your spouse come to agreements on key issues by assisting in the negotiation process.

Cases that Need Mediation

Not all cases need mediation. Some spouses can easily reach agreements without emotions confusing the issues. As long as you and your spouse feel that you’re making smart decisions based on the greater good—including what’s best for the kids—you may not need to use a mediator.

Many couples can’t even agree on what seem like simple issues, like who gets the sofa or who will pay the final electric bill. These couples are most likely to benefit from using a trained mediator who understands divorce laws.

If you’re not sure whether you could benefit from using a mediator, ask your Toronto divorce lawyer. Your lawyer will be able to tell you, based on his or her extensive experience, whether or not you’ll benefit from working with a mediator during your divorce.

What to Expect from a Mediator

Your Toronto divorce lawyer will be able to refer you to a highly qualified mediator during your divorce. Good mediators:

  • are neutral and impartial. Since the mediator has no stake in the outcome, he or she will not take sides. Instead, your mediator should have only one goal in mind: a fair solution.
  • are committed to providing each party ample time to voice concerns. When you work with a qualified mediator, he or she will let you have as much say as your spouse gets. However, your mediator will help keep you focused on each issue that arises so you can solve your disputes more quickly.
  • make sure disagreements stay civil. Your mediator might ask for time-out if conversations become too heated—and remember, you aren’t there to fight. You’re there to reach fair solutions to your disagreements.
  • will not give you legal advice. Only your Toronto divorce lawyer is able to give you legal advice that’s perfectly tailored to your situation. However, your mediator can provide you with information about the laws that relate to your case.
  • keeps your mediation confidential.

Ask Your Toronto Divorce Lawyer about Mediation

Even if you and your spouse only disagree on a few things, you might benefit by using a mediator. Ask your Toronto divorce lawyer for his or her opinion before you commit to using (or not using) outside help to reach a fair conclusion.

Written by Lisa Gelman

Senior Lawyer

Senior Lawyer Lisa Gelman has over 25 years of family law experience and founded Gelman & Associates to provide strategic legal counsel in family law matters concerning divorce, parenting, separation, and more.

Frequently Asked Questions - alternative dispute resolution

It depends on the situation. Sometimes, expected outcomes are not met when negotiating in court, so people are willing to venture into other means like alternative dispute resolution (ADR). Also, the flexibility of the ADR processes entices people more than ever.

Some of the benefits of alternative dispute resolution include confidentiality of the terms discussed, reduction of stress involved, the possibility of preserving existing relationships among parties, and significantly lower cost in terms of time and money.

Some of the processes involved in alternative dispute resolution include neutral evaluation, negotiation, conciliation, mediation, and arbitration. Some parties prefer to undergo mediation instead of litigation as its informal alternative.

Generally, the collaborative law process starts when both parties agree to use negotiations and mediations to settle their divorce amicably. This is done so a couple can reach a fair and equitable agreement based on realistic goals and reasonable judgment.

Collaborative law is a type of negotiation wherein the two parties with their lawyers meet face to face, together or separately, to negotiate a solution to the couple’s problems. Meanwhile, mediation is where a neutral third party aids a couple to communicate and find common ground that could solve their problems.

If you find yourself divorcing your partner, consider going for the collaborative option. This does not only cost less than a litigated divorce, but it also ensures that you part ways with your partner amicably instead of being irrevocably broken by the nature and pressures of the courtroom process.

Mediators and lawyers have different roles. Lawyers represent their clients’ interests and advise them on the best way to present their case. They’ll advise the client on what may happen in court and the chances of success. In contrast, a mediator does not give legal advice and does not represent either side of a dispute, even if the mediator is also a lawyer. In mediation, you speak for yourself rather than having a lawyer speak for you.

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If you need legal advice regarding alternative dispute resolution matters in Ontario, contact our Toronto family law lawyers for a free consultation. Some conditions may apply.

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