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Living in the Same House as Your Ex

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Living in the Same House as Your Ex

There are many reasons you may choose to live in the same house as your ex during divorce. You may wish to continue sharing resources and save money so you can be more successful when you venture out on your own, or you may have other, more personal reasons.

If you choose to continue living in the same house as your ex, either during or after your divorce, make sure you let your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer know about your plans—the choices you make now can have an effect on the outcome of your case.

Transitioning from Being Spouses to Being Roommates

If you’re going to live together, you’ll need to set ground rules about privacy, finances and intimacy. Since you’re no longer a couple, you’re no longer accountable to each other for relationship issues. However, you’ll still need to be responsible for maintaining your personal space and upholding your financial obligations to the household.

Generally, it’s a bad idea to continue being intimate with one another during your divorce. It can cause emotional conflict, which you don’t need during this difficult time, and many other unintended consequences.

Make Communication Easy

Create a communication board and household calendar and update it as necessary. When new issues arise, like the kids needing to be picked up from soccer practice or the utility bills needing to be mailed, designate who’s responsible and note it on the board. That way, you always have a point of reference (let’s face it: things get hectic during divorce) that helps keep track of who’s doing what.

Maintain Proper Boundaries

Since you’re used to being accountable to one another, it might be difficult to give your ex the same amount of personal space—both emotional and physical—that you expect to be given. Don’t ask who’s calling, barge into his or her room, or interrupt what your ex is doing around the house. If your ex does those things to you, let him or her know that it makes you uncomfortable and that he or she needs to stop so you can live together peacefully.

Your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer may advise you not to date during your divorce, particularly if you’re still living with your ex. In addition to complicating your case, it can cause hard feelings between you and your ex and make your living situation more difficult.

Dating may also confuse your children who are already unsure about what’s going on with mom and dad—so just hang tight. You’ll be free to date whomever you choose once your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer gives you the green light.

Written by Lisa Gelman

Senior Lawyer

Senior Lawyer Lisa Gelman has over 25 years of family law experience and founded Gelman & Associates to provide strategic legal counsel in family law matters concerning divorce, parenting, separation, and more.

Frequently Asked Questions - divorce & separation

If you are litigating your matter, social media posts made by your spouse or partner may be relevant, especially if they contradict what your spouse is claiming in his or her pleadings.

For example, if a spouse is claiming financial hardship, a Facebook post that shows that spouse going on an expensive trip or posing with an expensive car can undermine such claim  and, potentially affect that party’s credibility in court if presented as evidence on a motion or at trial.

Further to photograph-based posts, statements that are made on social media by one party can be relevant if said posts (i) are related to the litigation, to issues of parenting  and/or (b) they contradict statements that were made by the party in his or her pleadings. For example, if a party who is attempting to establish that he or she is an appropriate custodial parent, then recent social media posts about extensive partying and drug use made by that party may be relevant in court, as they may speak to that party’s fitness when it comes to appropriate supervision of a child in his or her care.

The Ontario Attorney General’s website estimates that divorce proceedings can take approximately four to six months to complete, provided that all documents have been appropriately accomplished and submitted on time.

No. The law does not favour mothers over fathers in divorce proceedings. The judge will base his decision on the evidence laid out by both parties.

The main distinction between divorce and separation is that divorce ends your marriage formally. You and your partner are no longer married.
If you’re separated, you’re still legally married to each other even if you receive a formal separation, and you must continue to record that you’re married on documents.

No. You are not required to get a lawyer for a divorce. However, it is best if you retain one to ensure that you fully understand all your rights and obligations.

A joint divorce application occurs when you and your spouse both agree to a divorce and on all other family law matters such as parenting, spousal support, or division of property.

Yes, it is different. Family law problems are addressed mainly by provincial laws in Ontario. Divorce law, on the other hand, is controlled by federal legislation in the form of the Divorce Act, which applies uniformly across the country.

Divorce can be a difficult decision to make, especially if you’re unsure if your partner will sign the petition. However, a divorce does not require your partner’s consent. Although it may be a long process if your partner doesn’t comply, they will not be able to stop you indefinitely.

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If you need legal advice regarding divorce & separation matters in Ontario, contact our Toronto family law lawyers for a free consultation. Some conditions may apply.

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