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My Ex is Expecting – My Kids Are About to Get a Half Sibling

Published: July 12, 2013

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My Ex is Expecting – My Kids Are About to Get a Half Sibling

Once you’ve wrapped up all the loose ends with your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer and your marriage is over, it’s reasonable to expect that both you and your ex will move on. When that happens, you may have to deal with new people coming into your kids’ lives—including new half-siblings. If your ex is expecting, how should you broach the subject with your kids? Is there a right way or a wrong way?

What to Say to the Kids

Once your ex has told them that there’s a new baby on the way, your kids might experience a wide range of emotions based on how old they are, how solid their parent-child relationships are and their unique personality types.

The most important thing you can do is listen. Don’t impose your opinions on them; they’ll form their own. Most psychologists recommend answering questions honestly (and age-appropriately, of course) and encouraging open dialogue.

What Your Kids Might be Confused About

Some kids aren’t sure how the new half-sibling will factor in their relationships with you and your ex. Younger kids might think the new sibling is somehow connected to you and be concerned that they’ll have to share both parents; older kids might not be sure how the puzzle fits together or what they should call the new arrival.

Half-Brother/Half-Sister or Brother/Sister?

Since blended families are becoming the norm, many people no longer use the term “half-“ to precede brother or sister. Whether your family adopts the term or decides to avoid labels that could be hurtful, it’s best to talk to your ex and make sure you’re all on the same page. Like all other aspects of co-parenting, this is a subject worth discussing.

When to Call Your Richmond Hill Divorce Lawyer

When your ex’s new baby arrives, continue talking to your kids to make sure they are adjusting well. If you suspect they’re not, it can’t hurt to call your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer to ask for a referral to a therapist who is well versed in blended families. Additionally, if you suspect your ex is incapable of caring for your kids as well as hers, or if your children are being neglected or abused, call your lawyer immediately. He or she may be able to work toward a modified custody agreement so your kids get the attention and care they deserve.

Written by Lisa Gelman

Senior Lawyer

Senior Lawyer Lisa Gelman has over 25 years of family law experience and founded Gelman & Associates to provide strategic legal counsel in family law matters concerning divorce, parenting, separation, and more.

Frequently Asked Questions - divorce & separation

If you are litigating your matter, social media posts made by your spouse or partner may be relevant, especially if they contradict what your spouse is claiming in his or her pleadings.

For example, if a spouse is claiming financial hardship, a Facebook post that shows that spouse going on an expensive trip or posing with an expensive car can undermine such claim  and, potentially affect that party’s credibility in court if presented as evidence on a motion or at trial.

Further to photograph-based posts, statements that are made on social media by one party can be relevant if said posts (i) are related to the litigation, to issues of parenting  and/or (b) they contradict statements that were made by the party in his or her pleadings. For example, if a party who is attempting to establish that he or she is an appropriate custodial parent, then recent social media posts about extensive partying and drug use made by that party may be relevant in court, as they may speak to that party’s fitness when it comes to appropriate supervision of a child in his or her care.

The Ontario Attorney General’s website estimates that divorce proceedings can take approximately four to six months to complete, provided that all documents have been appropriately accomplished and submitted on time.

No. The law does not favour mothers over fathers in divorce proceedings. The judge will base his decision on the evidence laid out by both parties.

The main distinction between divorce and separation is that divorce ends your marriage formally. You and your partner are no longer married.
If you’re separated, you’re still legally married to each other even if you receive a formal separation, and you must continue to record that you’re married on documents.

No. You are not required to get a lawyer for a divorce. However, it is best if you retain one to ensure that you fully understand all your rights and obligations.

A joint divorce application occurs when you and your spouse both agree to a divorce and on all other family law matters such as parenting, spousal support, or division of property.

Yes, it is different. Family law problems are addressed mainly by provincial laws in Ontario. Divorce law, on the other hand, is controlled by federal legislation in the form of the Divorce Act, which applies uniformly across the country.

Divorce can be a difficult decision to make, especially if you’re unsure if your partner will sign the petition. However, a divorce does not require your partner’s consent. Although it may be a long process if your partner doesn’t comply, they will not be able to stop you indefinitely.

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