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Out with the Old: Getting Rid of Your Spouse’s Possessions

Published: May 15, 2013

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Out with the Old: Getting Rid of Your Spouse’s Possessions

During divorce, it’s common to feel a wide range of emotions that span from sadness to righteous anger. While you might relish the thought of stuffing your ex’s clothes into trash bags, tossing a few of his or her prized possessions out of a second-storey window, or shoving the couch you’ve always hated out the front door, you should probably relegate those ideas to a dusty corner of your imagination. In fact, your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer will likely tell you to do just that—and it’s for your own good.

Cleaning House

If your ex has moved out of your marital home but hasn’t yet removed all his or her possessions, it’s okay to help pack them so you can begin moving on. However, that means packing things as if they were your own; neatly, gently and space-efficiently. Damaging or destroying your ex’s belongings could make your ex less likely to work with you on property division; additionally, your ex could use it to make you seem irrational and incapable of self-control in court.

Arranging the Pick-Up

Once your ex’s belongings are packed and ready to go, it’s time to ask your ex to come get them. Sending a polite text or email can be a great alternative to a phone call, especially if you’re concerned about getting into an argument.

Your goal is to remain flexible and be civil. Your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer will probably tell you that the more civil you can be toward your ex, the better you’ll fare during the divorce. If your ex can’t come get his or her things when you’d like them to, see if you can work something else out. If they won’t agree to pick them up at all, let your lawyer know so he or she can give you guidance on what to do next.

Extenuating Circumstances

If you’ve been a victim of domestic violence, or if your ex is trying to manipulate, bully or harass you, tell your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer right away. Your safety is more important than giving back your ex’s belongings, and your lawyer will be able to help ensure everything goes smoothly when your ex stops by for the pick-up.

Rearranging Your Space

Once your ex’s stuff is gone—or at least packed and sitting by the door—you can start infusing your space with your own personality. Get rid of or stash away anything that reminds you of your ex so you can start fresh. Rearrange the furniture, splash a fresh coat of paint here, add a brighter lamp there… it’s your house, and the sooner you make it feel like yours alone, the sooner you can begin enjoying your fresh start.

Written by Lisa Gelman

Senior Lawyer

Senior Lawyer Lisa Gelman has over 25 years of family law experience and founded Gelman & Associates to provide strategic legal counsel in family law matters concerning divorce, parenting, separation, and more.

Frequently Asked Questions - divorce & separation

If you are litigating your matter, social media posts made by your spouse or partner may be relevant, especially if they contradict what your spouse is claiming in his or her pleadings.

For example, if a spouse is claiming financial hardship, a Facebook post that shows that spouse going on an expensive trip or posing with an expensive car can undermine such claim  and, potentially affect that party’s credibility in court if presented as evidence on a motion or at trial.

Further to photograph-based posts, statements that are made on social media by one party can be relevant if said posts (i) are related to the litigation, to issues of parenting  and/or (b) they contradict statements that were made by the party in his or her pleadings. For example, if a party who is attempting to establish that he or she is an appropriate custodial parent, then recent social media posts about extensive partying and drug use made by that party may be relevant in court, as they may speak to that party’s fitness when it comes to appropriate supervision of a child in his or her care.

The Ontario Attorney General’s website estimates that divorce proceedings can take approximately four to six months to complete, provided that all documents have been appropriately accomplished and submitted on time.

No. The law does not favour mothers over fathers in divorce proceedings. The judge will base his decision on the evidence laid out by both parties.

The main distinction between divorce and separation is that divorce ends your marriage formally. You and your partner are no longer married.
If you’re separated, you’re still legally married to each other even if you receive a formal separation, and you must continue to record that you’re married on documents.

No. You are not required to get a lawyer for a divorce. However, it is best if you retain one to ensure that you fully understand all your rights and obligations.

A joint divorce application occurs when you and your spouse both agree to a divorce and on all other family law matters such as parenting, spousal support, or division of property.

Yes, it is different. Family law problems are addressed mainly by provincial laws in Ontario. Divorce law, on the other hand, is controlled by federal legislation in the form of the Divorce Act, which applies uniformly across the country.

Divorce can be a difficult decision to make, especially if you’re unsure if your partner will sign the petition. However, a divorce does not require your partner’s consent. Although it may be a long process if your partner doesn’t comply, they will not be able to stop you indefinitely.

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