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The Role of Step Parents During the Wedding

Published: April 24, 2013

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The Role of Step Parents During the Wedding

Wedding protocol is serious business—especially when it comes to parents, step-parents and blended families. Although your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer likely described dozens of challenges you’d face during your divorce, your child’s wedding was probably not one of them. If one of your kids or step-kids is making the trip down the aisle, you’re probably wondering about the role step-parents play and how you factor in.

Whose Day is it, Anyway?

Even if you and your ex share a mutual dislike for each other, this day isn’t about either of you. It’s about the two people getting married. That’s why it’s so important to talk to your child or step-child; let them know that they have your full support and that you’re committed to making their special day as enjoyable as possible.

Whether or not you’re a step-parent yourself, you probably understand that blended families can be as well-connected to each other as natural families. You might feel a bit jealous, angry or hurt that your child wants to include his or her step-parents in the wedding, but remember: the whole day is about your child and his or her happiness.

Proper Wedding Protocol for Step-Parents

Whether you’re the parent of the bride or the groom, you’ll probably be expected to share front-row seating with your ex and his or her significant other. Generally, the natural mothers of each party sit closest to the aisle; the mother’s husband sits beside her.

Natural fathers and step-moms belong on the other side of the step-father during the ceremony unless that makes any party uncomfortable. In that case, the natural father can sit in the next row, directly behind the mother. (During the reception, it’s acceptable to have three head tables: one for the bride, groom and attendants, and one for each set of parents and close family members.)

When it’s time for wedding photos, let your newly married child take the lead. If he or she wants step-parents included, don’t make any waves—just let it go. Your child will have these memories for a lifetime, and you don’t want to be the smudge that leaves a nasty mark for the next several decades.

Sharing Your Child’s Day with Step-Parents

People who have been divorced for years are more likely to be comfortable sharing a child’s wedding day with step-parents than those who are still navigating the divorce process and working with their Richmond Hill divorce lawyer. However, this is one of the most important days in your child’s life—and you are strong enough to push your personal feelings aside to help make it as special as it can be.

Written by Lisa Gelman

Senior Lawyer

Senior Lawyer Lisa Gelman has over 25 years of family law experience and founded Gelman & Associates to provide strategic legal counsel in family law matters concerning divorce, parenting, separation, and more.

Frequently Asked Questions - divorce & separation

If you are litigating your matter, social media posts made by your spouse or partner may be relevant, especially if they contradict what your spouse is claiming in his or her pleadings.

For example, if a spouse is claiming financial hardship, a Facebook post that shows that spouse going on an expensive trip or posing with an expensive car can undermine such claim  and, potentially affect that party’s credibility in court if presented as evidence on a motion or at trial.

Further to photograph-based posts, statements that are made on social media by one party can be relevant if said posts (i) are related to the litigation, to issues of parenting  and/or (b) they contradict statements that were made by the party in his or her pleadings. For example, if a party who is attempting to establish that he or she is an appropriate custodial parent, then recent social media posts about extensive partying and drug use made by that party may be relevant in court, as they may speak to that party’s fitness when it comes to appropriate supervision of a child in his or her care.

The Ontario Attorney General’s website estimates that divorce proceedings can take approximately four to six months to complete, provided that all documents have been appropriately accomplished and submitted on time.

No. The law does not favour mothers over fathers in divorce proceedings. The judge will base his decision on the evidence laid out by both parties.

The main distinction between divorce and separation is that divorce ends your marriage formally. You and your partner are no longer married.
If you’re separated, you’re still legally married to each other even if you receive a formal separation, and you must continue to record that you’re married on documents.

No. You are not required to get a lawyer for a divorce. However, it is best if you retain one to ensure that you fully understand all your rights and obligations.

A joint divorce application occurs when you and your spouse both agree to a divorce and on all other family law matters such as parenting, spousal support, or division of property.

Yes, it is different. Family law problems are addressed mainly by provincial laws in Ontario. Divorce law, on the other hand, is controlled by federal legislation in the form of the Divorce Act, which applies uniformly across the country.

Divorce can be a difficult decision to make, especially if you’re unsure if your partner will sign the petition. However, a divorce does not require your partner’s consent. Although it may be a long process if your partner doesn’t comply, they will not be able to stop you indefinitely.

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