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What to do If Your Spouse Doesn’t Have a Divorce Lawyer?

Published: November 17, 2014

Last Updated: September 9, 2025

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What to do If Your Spouse Doesn’t Have a Divorce Lawyer?

It seems like common sense to work with a Scarborough divorce lawyer. After all, Ontario law can be complex and confusing; if you have to worry about issues such as child custody and the division of your assets, you might feel like it’s foolish to navigate divorce without a lawyer.

That means you might be surprised to find out that your ex is not working with a lawyer and plans to represent himself or herself.

Is it Really that Simple?

Your divorce might take longer than it would have if you’d both hired Scarborough divorce lawyers, because the courts require divorcing couples to follow specific protocol. However, that’s not necessarily true. Your ex might be fine without a lawyer. You, on the other hand, have to watch out for a few things, including making concessions out of sympathy.

It’s natural to feel sympathetic toward your ex if he or she doesn’t have a lawyer, and that’s okay. However, avoid making concessions that you wouldn’t ordinarily make because you feel sorry for him or her. If your ex plays on your emotions and tries to get you to feel badly, particularly if he or she claims financial hardship, it’s a huge red flag. You should let your lawyer know what your ex is up to so that he or she can take the proper legal precautions to protect you.

Where Will Your Ex Go for Legal Advice?

Your ex can’t talk to your lawyer for advice (that would defeat the point of you having a lawyer, wouldn’t it?), so where will he or she turn for legal advice?

There are a number of websites that outline general family law information, and legal libraries are readily available to the public. Unfortunately, many of them neglect to cover every topic; nothing can replace in-person, case-specific advice that only a lawyer can give.

If your ex does go through your divorce without legal representation, your lawyer will tell you what to expect in and out of the courtroom. As long as your ex is careful about the paperwork he or she submits and knows how to behave in court (if necessary), your divorce should go fairly smoothly; if not, your lawyer can correct the issues and help you move forward.

Written by Lisa Gelman

Senior Lawyer

Senior Lawyer Lisa Gelman has over 25 years of family law experience and founded Gelman & Associates to provide strategic legal counsel in family law matters concerning divorce, parenting, separation, and more.

Frequently Asked Questions - divorce & separation

If you or your spouse are not in Canada, you can not get a divorce. However, you can end your marriage under the Civil Marriage Act. You can only end your marriage in Canada and not another country because your marriage is only valid in Canada.

Yes, you can date while separated in Canada. However, there is a legal implication to that. If the timing of your new relationship comes into question during your divorce, your relationship may be considered as an affair or adultery.

Yes. Our legal services are available in person, online, and over the phone. In addition, although our main office is located in Toronto, we have over 8 additional satellite offices located throughout central, southern, western, and eastern Ontario to serve family law clients across the province.

If you are litigating your matter, social media posts made by your spouse or partner may be relevant, especially if they contradict what your spouse is claiming in his or her pleadings.

For example, if a spouse is claiming financial hardship, a Facebook post that shows that spouse going on an expensive trip or posing with an expensive car can undermine such claim and potentially affect that party’s credibility in court if presented as evidence on a motion or at trial.

Further to photograph-based posts, statements that are made on social media by one party can be relevant if said posts (i) are related to the litigation, to issues of parenting and/or (b) contradict statements that were made by the party in his or her pleadings. For example, if a party is attempting to establish that he or she is an appropriate custodial parent, then recent social media posts about extensive partying and drug use made by that party may be relevant in court, as they may speak to that party’s fitness when it comes to appropriate supervision of a child in his or her care.

Yes, you can separate from your spouse. Separation does not have to lead to divorce. However, if you plan to remarry, you must file for divorce after one year of separation. Also, you may want to consider that if you just leave, your spouse may file for spousal support or child support.

It is advised however that before leaving, you try to have a separation agreement with your spouse.

Divorce can be a difficult decision to make, especially if you’re unsure if your partner will sign the petition. However, a divorce does not require your partner’s consent. Although it may be a long process if your partner doesn’t comply, they will not be able to stop you indefinitely.

The only ground for a divorce in Canada’s Divorce Act is marriage breakdown. This could include spousal infidelity, although infidelity alone could be difficult and emotionally taxing to prove in court.

You are not legally required to retain a lawyer to apply for divorce. However, a divorce application may involve important questions about parenting, support, property and procedural requirements. Independent legal advice can help you understand how a proposed agreement or court application may affect you.

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With numerous offices across Ontario, we make it easier for our clients to have access to our lawyers. Please note that offices marked with an (**) are satellite offices and require a consultation booked in advance. We are not able to accommodate walk-in appointments at these locations. Call us to book a free consultation today.

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If you need legal advice regarding divorce & separation matters in Ontario, contact our Toronto family law lawyers for a free consultation. Some conditions may apply.

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