On Thursday I embark on a residential move. I am staying in mid-town Toronto – this isn’t a cross-country or cross-continent endeavour. I am moving to a wonderful bungalow. It is in a lovely neighbourhood just to the west of where I am now.
I decided to take advantage of the move to downsize. I am taking with me only what I need and love and nothing more. Any items that I think someone else could make better use of are going to that higher purpose.
The purging has been a difficult process. I am not a hoarder but, let’s just say, my son is 14 and I am finally donating his baby clothes. It has been an emotional and joyful and difficult time – often all at once. I am very much looking forward to living a less cluttered and more streamlined life.
How have I stayed sane through this process? Well, stay tuned. It isn’t over yet…..But, seriously, I have managed by admitting that I cannot do it alone and enlisting the support and assistance of family and friends and even a few professionals. Much in the same way as someone contemplating the end of a relationship.
You likely have been thinking about separation for some time. Take the time you need to get the clarity required to take this giant step. Consider all of the options and possibilities open to you. Your separation does not have to look like anyone else’s – you are an individual and can design your future.
Don’t go it alone. Lean on friends and family. Open up and let them help, support, encourage – I have not found a stiff upper lip to be an effective coping mechanism. Let your village help you through this very stressful time.
Finally, hire a professional. Just like the movers who will be transporting my furniture on Thursday, you need a family lawyer to do the heavy lifting. Have a lawyer advise you, so that you can make informed decisions about how to proceed. You cannot be an expert in the law, so hire someone who is. It will make the process easier, faster and, ultimately, less time consuming. That way, you can dedicate your efforts and attention to getting on with your life.
