Happy New Year to everyone. I hope the holidays treated you well and you have survived the deep freeze. I spent a week at a cottage on the shores of beautiful Georgian Bay. I learned a lesson my mother tried to impart for years: Hats keep your head warm. But I digress…
There has been a lot of discussion on social media and in the press recently about January being divorce month. I disagree. I don’t think January is divorce month. Taken literally, I suspect there are no more divorces granted in January than in any other month of the year. I would better describe January as “take stock month”.
Consistent with the idea of making resolutions, I think the end of one year and the start of another lends itself to thoughts about life, love and one’s place in the world. It leads to deep reflection on one’s circumstances and consideration of what is working and what is not. This kind of thought invariably leads to decisions. Decisions about what should change and what should remain the same. Quiet contemplation of work circumstances and personal life. About which relationships support and sustain you and which drain and detract from your enjoyment of life.
People may come to realize, through this process, that their marriage is not satisfying. That it either needs a reboot or a kind send off. Whether this most intimate of relationships is worth the hard work it takes to maintain. Maybe it is and maybe it isn’t.
If it is, but there are challenges, see a marriage counsellor. Do the work it takes to get back on track. Or, maybe, do the work it takes to create a brand new and improved marriage.
If the marriage isn’t working, then maybe you do need a family lawyer. But seek out a family lawyer who will listen to you. Someone who won’t push you to act before you are ready. Someone who is sensitive to the fact that ending a relationship is a big deal and that every marriage is unique and different. Maybe someone who has done their own January self-reflection.