We are open in our 8 offices to serve your needs

Many of the clients I see have not yet separated.  They are having problems in their relationships and they consult with me to discuss their rights and obligations in the event of a separation.  For parents, the issue of the children is front and centre.

Parents invariably ask me how and what to tell the children about the breakup.  Over the years,  I have gotten better at answering this question.  Obviously, parents know their children best and will know how to frame to issue sensitively.  What I know and what I tell my clients is that it is important for the children to get accurate and truthful, age-appropriate information.  Not telling the children until someone moves out is not on – the children are entitled to know how and why their lives will change before any change is implemented.  It is also important for the children to have a version of events that allows them to preserve a loving relationship with each of their parents.

There will, of course, be many conversations with the children about the break up.  The first is often the most daunting, and perhaps the most important, as it frames the event for years to come.  I suggest that the parties come up with a relatively neutral version of events together and then share that version with the children in a kind of “family meeting” which everyone attends.  It is important that both mom and dad tell the kids together and that they have the same script.  Limit the information to what the children actually need to know and avoid laying blame at the feet of one or the other of you.

Donald Saposnek has written a beautiful article on this issue entitled “Developing A Mutual Story of the Divorce: What Should We Tell the Children” . I commend it to you:  http://www.mediate.com/articles/falleditorial.cfm.  Dr. Saposnek’s thoughts about how to craft a mutual story of the break-up, and why that consistent story is good for children, are worth a read.  He provides valuable examples of how to frame the events surrounding the break-up in an accurate way, while sharing a version of the story that avoids putting the children in the middle.

Contact Form - Contact Us Page

Request a free consultation

Please fill out this form with your contact information and someone will be in touch with you soon.

Contact Preferences

How would you like to be contacted? Click all that apply.

How can we help you?

Brief description of your legal issue:

The use of the Internet or this form for communication with the firm or any individual member of the firm is not secure and does not establish a lawyer-client relationship. Confidential or time-sensitive information should not be sent through this form.



4211 Yonge Street • Suite #210 • Toronto • Ontario • M2P 2A9

View Map | Learn More

Aurora **

16 Industrial Parkway South • Aurora • Ontario • L4G 0R4

View Map | Learn More


500 Mapleton Avenue, Suite A • Barrie, Ontario • L4N 9C2

View Map | Learn More

Downtown Toronto **

100 King Street West • Suite #5600 • Toronto • Ontario • M5X 1C9

View Map | Learn More


4257 Sherwoodtowne Blvd Suite #300 • Mississauga Ontario • L4Z 1Y5

View Map | Learn More

Scarborough **

10 Milner Business Court • 3rd Floor • Scarborough • Ontario • M1B 3M6

View Map | Learn More

Grimsby **

33 Main Street West, • Grimsby • Ontario • L3M 1R3

View Map | Learn More

Whitby **

105 Consumers Drive - Unit 2, • Whitby • Ontario • L1N 1C4

View Map | Learn More
** Satellite office that requires you to book an appointment with us prior to arriving at the office.
Federation of Asian Canadian Lawyers
Law Society of Ontario
Peel Law Association
UJA Federation of Greater Toronto
York Region Law Association
Collaborative Practice Simcoe County
Law Association Simcoe County
Widows & Orphans Fund