When you decide to sit down with a Mississauga divorce lawyer to discuss ending your marriage, you’ll probably experience a wide range of emotions. Most people report a combination of relief, anger and sadness (as well as a host of other feelings). Grief is also a natural emotion during and after divorce; the death of a marriage needs to be mourned in order to create a healthy mindset for the future.
Grief and Divorce: What You’re Really Mourning
Even if your marriage hasn’t been happy for quite some time, divorce means closing the door on a way of life that you’ve become accustomed to. It represents the loss of the relationship you spent so much time cultivating and some of the goals you set in the past. It also signifies a new beginning, which can be scary—and all these things combined often cause grief.
Mourning is Different from Grief
It’s often said that mourning is “grief gone public.” Grief is what you feel on the inside, but mourning is the process of letting it out in order to allow yourself to heal. Holding in your grief can cause all sorts of problems, including substance abuse, fighting and other unhealthy behaviours. You deserve to let those feelings out so that you don’t have to suffer needlessly.
Mourning the loss of your marriage is important because it helps you accept your situation; you cannot start fresh if you’re tangled in a web of grief. Once you, your lawyer and your ex-spouse have worked out a child custody agreement and figured out how your marital property will be divided, you may find it easier to move forward through the mourning process.
How People Mourn the Loss of a Marriage
Divorce is packed with emotional ups and downs, and the mourning process often begins before you even decide to talk to a Mississauga divorce lawyer. Many people write their feelings in a journal, talk to friends and family or otherwise express their emotions.
Your Mississauga divorce lawyer might suggest that you talk to a therapist who has extensive experience with divorce; that way, you don’t have to face the mourning process alone. Even if you don’t see a therapist, it’s important to recognize that there’s nothing wrong with you for mourning the loss of your marriage. Your feelings are legitimate and deserve to be recognized.