It’s not uncommon for ex-spouses to be resentful during and after (sometimes long after) divorce. While it’s not emotionally healthy to hold on to resentment, it can be really difficult to let go. Resentment can even cause physical ailments, such as high blood pressure, anxiety and an elevated risk of alcohol or substance abuse. If you’re having a hard time coping with anger, bitterness or resentment, ask your Mississauga divorce lawyer to refer you to a professional who is equipped to deal with the aftermath of divorce.
What if you’re not the resentful party, though? What if it’s your ex, and he or she can’t seem to handle the fact that you’ve moved on?
When Your Ex Lashes Out at You
Resentful people may lash out—and if your ex does that, his or her problem becomes your problem. Lashing out might include:
- Physical violence or threats of violence. These are serious crimes, and if your ex becomes abusive, get to a safe place and call the police immediately. Be sure to call your lawyer once you are safe.
- Using children as a weapon against you. Your ex might withhold visitation, prevent your children from enjoying uninterrupted time with you or even attempt to alienate them from you.
- Using verbal abuse. Your ex might put you down, blame you for the entire divorce or otherwise lash out verbally in an attempt to hurt you.
How to Handle a Resentful Ex
First, know that what your ex does, or how he or she feels, is no longer your business. If your ex lashes out at you or is holding a grudge against you, it’s not your fault—and you cannot control his or her behaviour.
Don’t get pulled in.
Your Mississauga divorce lawyer has probably already advised you to avoid confrontations with your ex-spouse. Engaging just isn’t worth the headache. If you can, just ignore the things your ex is saying or doing (unless it involves your children; in that case, call your lawyer as soon as possible). You’ll save yourself a significant amount of stress, which will enable you to heal from your own divorce wounds more quickly.