It’s tough to come to terms with the fact that your relationship is over. You may find yourself feeling sad, angry, rejected, and even depressed. But just like grieving over anything else, you have to let yourself get through this process so you can move on with your life. It’s a difficult journey, but it’s one that you can get through with time and patience.
Take the Time. Just how much time it takes to get over a divorce is different from person to person, but it’s important to let yourself take however much time in necessary. Diving into a new relationship or trying to start your life over when you aren’t really ready will only set you back. Don’t let anyone tell you that you should simply be over it and try to fit your anguish to their schedule. This is about you and only you.
Do What Feels Right. Everyone grieves in a different way, and you need to do what feels right for you. Go for a run, scream at the top of your lungs, or get out with a few friends. Again, everyone is going to feel a little different about what the best method is, but you should do whatever you can to get that negative energy out of your body. Just make sure that you aren’t doing anything unhealthy or illegal.
Take Care of Yourself. When you’re feeling down, it’s easy to just let everything go. You might feel like staying in bed all day eating ice cream and watching television. While some of that may be good for you, don’t let it go so far that you let your health slip. Make sure you’re doing the basics: eating healthy, exercising, and practicing good hygiene. Even if you don’t really feel like doing those things initially, they will actually help you feel better.
Set Limits. It’s easy to let your grief get out of hand, and you probably can’t afford to take six months off of work to get over your divorce. If you find that allowing yourself a little bit of sadness or anger tends to escalate into days or even weeks, then give yourself limits. Try setting aside a certain amount of time each day when you’re allowed to work through your feelings, or maybe take a day on the weekend when you don’t have any responsibilities to let it all out.
Grab a Friend. Having a friend or family member close at hand can ensure that you go through a healthy grieving process. Your friend can make sure that you don’t let yourself wallow in your self-pity for too long and will remind you to take care of your mind and body. They can also be a great distraction.
It Will End. When you’re dealing with the sorrow of a divorce, it feels as though it will last forever. You might not think you will ever truly get over it. But you have to remember that you will. The sadness won’t stick around forever, and you will at some point be ready to begin again. Once you give yourself the time to grieve and actually let yourself work through the process, it’s likely that you’ll begin to feel better.
While there is no set schedule or time frame, you’re making progress as long as you’re moving in the right direction. Have someone at your side to help you through it, and know that you aren’t alone.