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When Your Ex Finds Someone New: Helping Kids Cope

Published: October 22, 2013

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When Your Ex Finds Someone New: Helping Kids Cope

When your ex finds someone new, particularly if you are still married, it’s hard to deal with the flood of emotions. Even if your marriage was emotionally exhausting and you were glad it was over, it can still be tough to see your ex moving on. It’s not only difficult for you, though; your children might have a hard time adjusting to the fact that their parent is seeing someone else.

Helping Kids Adjust

Despite the fact that you may be struggling with the fact that your ex seems to have moved on, psychologists suggest staying strong for your children is the best way to help them cope. Naturally, children of different ages will have different feelings about the situation, but there are a few things you should keep in mind no matter how old they are.

  1. Never speak poorly of your ex (or of his or her decisions) in front of your children. Your ex’s new relationship does not have any bearing on the way he or she feels about the kids, so it’s best not to say anything negative. That doesn’t mean you cannot talk about the relationship; if your kids ask, or if you feel they need positive guidance, it’s always okay to engage in conversation with them.
  2. If you take issue with your ex (or your ex’s new love interest), your ex is the person you should talk to. Don’t involve the children, but do be sure to address any concerns you have directly with your ex. Together with your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer, you may be able to modify your child custody agreement based on what’s best for your children.
  3. Be there for your kids if they need to talk—but don’t pressure them to do so. Some kids may benefit from talking to an outside party, such as a therapist, who has experience in these matters.

Keeping Your Richmond Hill Divorce Lawyer Updated

It’s always important to keep your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer updated, particularly if your ex is dating someone while you are still married. Your ex’s actions may affect your case.

Written by Lisa Gelman

Senior Lawyer

Senior Lawyer Lisa Gelman has over 25 years of family law experience and founded Gelman & Associates to provide strategic legal counsel in family law matters concerning divorce, parenting, separation, and more.

Frequently Asked Questions - divorce & separation

If you are litigating your matter, social media posts made by your spouse or partner may be relevant, especially if they contradict what your spouse is claiming in his or her pleadings.

For example, if a spouse is claiming financial hardship, a Facebook post that shows that spouse going on an expensive trip or posing with an expensive car can undermine such claim  and, potentially affect that party’s credibility in court if presented as evidence on a motion or at trial.

Further to photograph-based posts, statements that are made on social media by one party can be relevant if said posts (i) are related to the litigation, to issues of parenting  and/or (b) they contradict statements that were made by the party in his or her pleadings. For example, if a party who is attempting to establish that he or she is an appropriate custodial parent, then recent social media posts about extensive partying and drug use made by that party may be relevant in court, as they may speak to that party’s fitness when it comes to appropriate supervision of a child in his or her care.

The Ontario Attorney General’s website estimates that divorce proceedings can take approximately four to six months to complete, provided that all documents have been appropriately accomplished and submitted on time.

No. The law does not favour mothers over fathers in divorce proceedings. The judge will base his decision on the evidence laid out by both parties.

The main distinction between divorce and separation is that divorce ends your marriage formally. You and your partner are no longer married.
If you’re separated, you’re still legally married to each other even if you receive a formal separation, and you must continue to record that you’re married on documents.

No. You are not required to get a lawyer for a divorce. However, it is best if you retain one to ensure that you fully understand all your rights and obligations.

A joint divorce application occurs when you and your spouse both agree to a divorce and on all other family law matters such as parenting, spousal support, or division of property.

Yes, it is different. Family law problems are addressed mainly by provincial laws in Ontario. Divorce law, on the other hand, is controlled by federal legislation in the form of the Divorce Act, which applies uniformly across the country.

Divorce can be a difficult decision to make, especially if you’re unsure if your partner will sign the petition. However, a divorce does not require your partner’s consent. Although it may be a long process if your partner doesn’t comply, they will not be able to stop you indefinitely.

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