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When you’re in the middle of a divorce proceeding, it can be difficult to know what you’re doing right and what you’re doing wrong.  You may feel that you’ve already made the mistake of marrying the wrong person, which can cause a lot of insecurity to arise when it comes to making decisions about your future.  While every divorce is different, there are several major mistakes that every soon-to-be divorcee should avoid.

Settle for Less:  You and your spouse are likely going back and forth over the terms of your separation agreement.  These terms can include child support, division of property, and the matrimonial home.  When you feel yourself getting tired of the arguing, stay strong.  It may seem easy to give in, but settling for less than you want right now will not do you any favours in the future.  It could be harder to get better terms later on down the road, if you ever bother to try to renegotiate terms anyway.  Fight for what you want now.

Fly by the Seat of Your Pants:  When you are no longer going to be with the same person, it usually means that your life is about to change a lot.  You may have to find a different place to live, you might be looking for a new or better job, and your income situation will change.  This means that you can’t just charge headlong into the divorce to get it over with.  You need to sit back and plan things out.  Your lawyer and a financial advisor (as well as friends and family) can help you out with this too.

Send Mean Messages:  Yes, you are probably very angry at your spouse.  But sending texts messages and emails that are hateful or threatening will only make you feel better for a short time.  These communications can be saved and used against you later, so really think about anything you say that might be recorded for posterity.

Avoiding Lawyers:  Sometimes a couple getting ready to go through a divorce isn’t interested in using a lawyer.  They want to get it over with, and they would rather not incur the extra expense.  But a Family Law Lawyer is there to help you understand what you may or may not be entitled to, how the law affects your particular divorce, and that all the paperwork is filed properly.  In the long run, your best bet is a knowledgeable person at your side and defending your rights.

Denying Your Financial Situation:  You may want to keep the family home, but can you truly afford it on your own?  You may think your spouse should pay a certain amount of support, but is that figure really reasonable?  Sit down with your bills and think about where every dollar you make each month goes, then analyze what you will and won’t be able to pay for once the divorce is finalized.

Each decision you have to make during the separation and divorce process can feel like a heavy weight on your shoulders, but it doesn’t have to.  The mistakes listed above can be easily avoided with a little patience and thought.  Some calm, careful planning can go a long way towards a happy future.

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