During the throes of divorce, it’s difficult to understand what went wrong, who is to blame, and what should have happened differently. Hopefully, as you move past the pain of divorce, you begin to understand that both parties had a hand in the downfall of your marriage. There were things that both of you probably should or shouldn’t have done. You may even feel that you want to apologize to your ex as you move on to the next phase in your life. But you can’t always expect an apology in return, and that’s okay. Apologize for the Right Reasons: If you say you’re sorry to your ex, do so because you feel in your heart that it’s the right thing to do. Say it because you know that you mean it, and because you know you have learned lessons that will help you in future relationships. Don’t say it because you expect to get it back. This will only lead to disappointment, as you can’t know what kind of emotional growth your former spouse has or hasn’t gone through. Do it for you, not to get the same in return. Don’t Regret It: You might have friends or family that feel you shouldn’t have apologized because you weren’t at fault, or maybe because you were the “least wrong.” But acknowledging your mistakes, no matter how small they were, can be emotionally cleansing. It doesn’t give the other spouse power over you, and it doesn’t make you the weaker person. Instead, you’ll know that you did the right thing. Forgive Anyway: Just because your ex never says he or she is sorry, or even if they don’t believe they have a reason to say it, you can still forgive. Once again, do this for your own benefit. Forgiveness allows you to let go of bitter feelings towards your ex and open your heart up to more positive emotions. It doesn’t mean that you have to forget what happened, because acknowledging the past is how you learn. But you don’t have to hold onto it or continue to feel like a victim. If you find that you have apologies to express and forgiveness in your heart, then go right ahead and own it. Don’t worry about how your ex or anyone else feels about it, because it’s part of your emotional healing. Your former spouse doesn’t have to return the expression to make it valid, and besides, you can live the rest of your life knowing you were the bigger person.
Frequently Asked Questions - divorce & separation
Can texts or social media posts from my ex work to my advantage during a divorce?
If you are litigating your matter, social media posts made by your spouse or partner may be relevant, especially if they contradict what your spouse is claiming in his or her pleadings.
For example, if a spouse is claiming financial hardship, a Facebook post that shows that spouse going on an expensive trip or posing with an expensive car can undermine such claim and, potentially affect that party’s credibility in court if presented as evidence on a motion or at trial.
Further to photograph-based posts, statements that are made on social media by one party can be relevant if said posts (i) are related to the litigation, to issues of parenting and/or (b) they contradict statements that were made by the party in his or her pleadings. For example, if a party who is attempting to establish that he or she is an appropriate custodial parent, then recent social media posts about extensive partying and drug use made by that party may be relevant in court, as they may speak to that party’s fitness when it comes to appropriate supervision of a child in his or her care.
How long does it take to get a divorce?
The Ontario Attorney General’s website estimates that divorce proceedings can take approximately four to six months to complete, provided that all documents have been appropriately accomplished and submitted on time.
Do the courts favour mothers in divorce proceedings?
No. The law does not favour mothers over fathers in divorce proceedings. The judge will base his decision on the evidence laid out by both parties.
What is the difference between separation and divorce?
The main distinction between divorce and separation is that divorce ends your marriage formally. You and your partner are no longer married.
If you’re separated, you’re still legally married to each other even if you receive a formal separation, and you must continue to record that you’re married on documents.
Am I required to get a lawyer when filing my divorce?
No. You are not required to get a lawyer for a divorce. However, it is best if you retain one to ensure that you fully understand all your rights and obligations.
What is a joint divorce application?
A joint divorce application occurs when you and your spouse both agree to a divorce and on all other family law matters such as parenting, spousal support, or division of property.
Is family law different from divorce law?
Yes, it is different. Family law problems are addressed mainly by provincial laws in Ontario. Divorce law, on the other hand, is controlled by federal legislation in the form of the Divorce Act, which applies uniformly across the country.
Can you get divorced without the other person agreeing?
Divorce can be a difficult decision to make, especially if you’re unsure if your partner will sign the petition. However, a divorce does not require your partner’s consent. Although it may be a long process if your partner doesn’t comply, they will not be able to stop you indefinitely.
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