After years of marriage, jobs that keep you working long past dinner time, and kids who constantly need to be taken somewhere, you may find that the sizzle in your marriage is starting to fizzle out. It’s not unusual, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do something about it. It’s never too late to liven up your relationship and turn up the romance, and it doesn’t have to be hard.
Date Night: Most couples have the intention of continuing with dates once they’re married and have children, but it often gets put on the backburner. Make your date not just a nice idea but a scheduled event that is set in stone. If it’s every other Saturday, the first Friday of the month, or even a lunch date once a week, put it on the calendar and make it happen. The two of you deserve to have a little bit of time alone together without worrying about sippy cups and soccer practices.
Limit Work Talk: It’s great to have someone you can unload to about your hard day at the office, but keep it to a minimum. Drudging on about the same obnoxious coworker day in and day out will only bring the both of you down. Instead, limit your work talk to a few minutes when you come home, and then move on to other things. You might be surprised at how much you really have to say to each other.
Turn Off Your Phones: Smartphones are amazing. We never have to miss a call, text, or email, and we can work from almost anywhere. But that often means that we do work from almost anywhere, including at the dinner table and in bed. Don’t be staring at your screen when you should be having a conversation with your spouse. Eye contact is important in a conversation, and you aren’t really listening if you’re checking Facebook updates.
The Little Things Count: Your husband would love it if you rubbed his shoulders when he came home from work. Your wife would appreciate a foot massage every now and then. Do little favours for each other on a regular basis and expect nothing in return. This can include things like making sure you put your dirty clothes in the hamper, volunteering to pick up the dry cleaning, or washing the dishes when it isn’t your turn. Small things add up to big romance.
Do Something New: Couples often get stuck in the same daily routine. A new activity that you do with your spouse will not only help you bond while you’re doing it, but afterwards as well. You’ll have a shared memory and something new to talk about. Take a class together, go on a vacation, or try something crazy like skydiving or zip lining. You’ll learn about each other and make great memories together.
When you’re constantly running at top speed, it can be nice to slow down for even just a few minutes and enjoy each other’s company. Remember that your spouse should be your priority, and you each deserve to have a few minutes to enjoy your relationship. Set aside the bills, the smartphone notifications, and your complaints about the office and simply focus on each other. A few small efforts at getting closer will soon lead to more, and you’ll remember why the two of you got together in the first place.