Funerals are stressful enough without having to see your ex-spouse, but unfortunately, sometimes that’s inevitable. If a family member or close friend has passed, you and your spouse may both want to pay your respects. Whether you’ve been divorced for ages or you’re still working with a North York divorce lawyer, you might have a difficult time attending a funeral when your ex is there.
Avoidance is Usually the Best Policy
If you and your ex didn’t have (or aren’t having) an amicable split, it’s usually a good idea to steer clear of each other at a funeral. A polite nod to acknowledge each other should be enough. If you’re comfortable doing so, you can offer your condolences—but remember, a funeral isn’t the appropriate place to discuss anything related to your divorce.
Some people just don’t understand boundaries, so if your ex tries to discuss your divorce or other personal details, politely decline. He or she should get the picture when you don’t rise to the occasion. If your ex won’t leave you alone, you’ll have to take the high road; that might include leaving to avoid causing a scene.
Bringing the Kids to a Funeral with Your Ex
You may need to bring your children to a funeral for your ex’s benefit, or your ex might need to bring them for yours. Again, a funeral isn’t the right venue to converse about your divorce; save your discussions, disagreements and arguments for a more appropriate day.
When the Funeral is for an Ex-Family Member
When an ex-in-law has passed away, it’s generally a good idea to call your former spouse and offer your condolences and ask permission to go to the funeral. If your ex shows up at the funeral of one of your family members or friends without consulting with you first, be gracious; he or she is grieving, too, and you can set aside your differences for the day.
When to Call Your North York Divorce Lawyer
It’s normal for your ex to want to attend the same funerals you attend. After all, you have connections with many of the same people because you were married. However, if your ex is going out of the way to intrude on your grief, you should call your lawyer (even if you’re already divorced).
Any time your ex is harassing you and you can’t stop his or her behaviour by asking nicely, let your North York divorce lawyer know. Your lawyer might be able to pursue legal solutions that can help prevent your ex from bothering you.