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What happens between you and your spouse after you have been granted a divorce? Will you avoid each other at all costs, try to be civil in front of the kids, or become friends again?

While your North York divorce lawyer has a significant amount of control over the legal aspects of your case, emotions and feelings are outside their area of expertise. What you do after your divorce is final is largely a personal decision between you and your ex, and several factors can contribute.

Maintaining Friendship During and After Divorce

Often, North York divorce lawyers don’t have the luxury of working with a client who still gets along with his or her spouse. Occasionally, though, a couple who recognizes that they’re moving in different directions and accepts the divorce as a change for the better comes along. These couples can generally remain friends after divorce with few problems, and having children acts as an extra incentive to get along.

Couples who allow hurt, resentment and anger to overtake their natural feelings of compassion and understanding have a harder time staying friends after a divorce. Those feelings are tough to overcome, and some people will carry them to the grave—even if they do become civil to each other after all the North York divorce lawyers are gone, the divorce is granted, and life has moved on.

Rediscovering an Old Friendship with Your Ex

You don’t have to be best pals, but if you have kids, it’s a good idea to stay civil with each other. (If you don’t have kids, it’s still a good idea to stay civil—but not for anyone else’s sake, but your own.)

Sometimes civility edges in and pushes out anger and the other negative emotions associated with divorce. You and your ex may even share a laugh or two over something the kids said or did, and in that brief moment, you might remember that you were once friends.

Some psychologists suggest that people can become happier than ever after divorce. When that happens, there’s a definite possibility for forgiveness.

Foregoing a Friendship for Your Own Sanity’s Sake

If buddying up with your ex doesn’t sound the least bit appealing, you’re free to do what you will. There’s no rule book that says you have to become friends with your ex after a divorce.

Some people are just plain toxic—and you should avoid those people without feeling the slightest twinge of guilt. If your ex is one of them, he or she is the one missing out on a great friendship. You’re better off making new friends than rehashing an old friendship with someone who drags you down.