While you were married, you parented together – but now that you’re separated or divorced, how are you supposed to tackle tough issues like discipline? Many parents struggle to find a balance between their new lives apart and the proper discipline of children, and the issue becomes more complex when former spouses disagree on child-rearing. If you and your spouse simply cannot agree, and you both have different standards of discipline, you may need to contact your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer to ask for some guidance.
When Your Ex Sees Things Differently
Both during and after a divorce, many people report that their outlook on life has changed. This can have an impact on discipline strategies people use with their kids. Often, one parent starts to disagree with the other and begins to hold children to different standards than they’re used to meeting.
When Your Kids Act Out
Divorce has a profound effect on kids. While some kids internalize their hurt, anger and fear, others act out in ways they never have before. Some children become destructive, throw temper tantrums or yell at their parents and other family members. It’s important to note that kids are just as susceptible to stress as adults, but they don’t have the emotional maturity to handle it the way adults do.
Develop a Parenting Plan
Perhaps the most important thing you can do as parents is to develop a parenting plan together. Your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer may have suggested that you do so during your divorce; if not, it’s not too late.
Call your ex and ask for a sit-down meeting without distractions (and without new partners present). Discuss how your kids have been acting since the split, and come to an agreement on how you’ll handle their new behaviours.
Avoid using terms like “you always…” and “you’re wrong.” Instead, focus on what’s most important: your kids’ emotional well-being. Put them first during your discussion by asking questions, being an active listener, and making non-threatening suggestions, like “What if we…” and “Do you think we should…”
Your kids depend on you to provide them with stability after they’ve gone through the most difficult time of their young lives. If meeting with your spouse doesn’t seem to help, contact your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer.
Getting Back in Touch with Your Richmond Hill Divorce Lawyer
Contacting your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer should be one of your last resorts, used only when you and your ex clash on important issues and neither of you are willing to back down. Remember that your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer isn’t a family therapist; he or she only manages the legal aspects of divorce and custody cases. However, you can also ask your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer for a referral to a local family therapist who specializes in working with divorced parents and their kids. In many cases, a family therapist can guide you and your ex down the right path to co-parenting on important issues like discipline.