Missing Your ExAfter spending years, or even decades, with your spouse, it’s hard to stop caring – even if you’re going through a divorce. No matter how angry you get, how hurt you are or how eager you are to split up, you may still miss your ex for quite some time.

The good news?

You don’t have to turn off your feelings. You just have to accept them for what they really are.

But… I Miss My Ex

Many people mistake missing their exes for a desire to get back together, according to social worker Dr. David Braucher. You’ve likely heard the old saying, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Psychologists suggest that that’s entirely true – and that when you start reminiscing about your ex, you’re bringing up feelings and memories you used to have.

What this means is that you’re healing. You’re staying connected with the loving part of yourself rather than building an unhealthy shell around your emotions.

Moving Past Your “I Miss My Ex” Feelings

Once you’ve accepted that it’s okay to miss the good (and the bad) times, you can continue to heal. While it might be tempting to share the way you feel with your ex, it’s probably best not to. That’s because it’s easy to confuse those feelings for the desire to reconnect.

If it’s possible, limit your contact with each other. If you have children and need to work out a parenting plan, by all means, do. However, things that could be handled by your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer should be; that way, you won’t get caught up in emotional fallout.

You might always care about your ex. After all, he or she was the person you chose to marry and at one time, was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. If you’re having a hard time moving on, ask your lawyer if he or she can recommend a local therapist who can help you accept (and then work through) your feelings.