Before your divorce, you may have been surrounded by supportive friends who you could count on through thick and thin… but now that you’re going through the toughest time of your life, they seem to have disappeared. Where did they go—and why did they jump ship when you need them most?
Talking to a Richmond Hill Divorce Lawyer Changes Things
Once your friends find out your marriage is headed south, there are several reasons they might start to keep their distance. They might take sides, particularly if they’re friends with both you and your ex, and they might not pick you; they might feel like divorce is somehow contagious, and hanging around you might cause their own marriages to suffer. Your friends might even see you as a threat now that you’re single and “on the market,” so they’ll steer clear—even though the last thing you’re thinking about is starting a whirlwind romance with your pal’s spouse.
Your friends might think you need space, too; rather than abandoning you in a time of need, they may think that you want to be alone. People going through a divorce often send out signals that friends misinterpret, such as declining social invitations or leaving voicemails unanswered. While you’re probably only busy, want time to think or don’t feel like getting dressed up to pretend that you’re happy, your friends might feel like you don’t want their support.
Sometimes friends don’t know how to respond when you talk about your divorce. When you try to open up with your feelings about sharing custody of your kids, discuss the fact that you’re hoping to receive spousal support or talk about dividing your marital property, a friend might seem to shut down—but the truth is, he or she just doesn’t know what to say.
How Your Richmond Hill Divorce Lawyer Can Help
Your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer might recommend that you talk to a therapist who can provide extra support during this tough time. A therapist can serve as a sounding board and allow you to blow off steam so you’re more relaxed; he or she can also help you understand why your list of friends seems to be getting smaller by the day.
You may not regain all the friendships you lost during your divorce, especially if your friends gravitated toward your ex or they were fair-weather friends to begin with. However, if you maintain contact as you begin to heal, you’ll probably find that your true friends will come to their senses eventually.