Your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer can prepare all the court documents you need leading up to your divorce; he or she can navigate the mazes that lead to a fair distribution of your assets; he or she can even help hammer out solid visitation times for you and your ex when it comes to your kids.
Just about the only thing your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer can’t do is prepare you emotionally for family celebrations and holidays that your ex is likely to attend—with or without a new partner or significant other.
The good news is that you can successfully make it through family gatherings while your ex is there. In fact, you can even invite your former in-laws to share special occasions with your kids. It just takes a little emotional preparation and inner strength.
Keeping Your Cool
Seeing your ex, especially if you haven’t resolved all the emotions stemming from your divorce, is rough. You may have a lot of hurt, resentment and anger left over—but don’t forget that the only reason you have to share special occasions is to benefit your kids. Once the occasion is over, you don’t have to see your ex until the next big date; you can go home just as happy as you were before the event.
Because your kids are around, you’ll need a zero-tolerance policy for fighting. If your ex tries to start an argument, or if you feel your emotions bubbling over, take five minutes outside to stop the situation before it escalates. Call your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer immediately if your ex does cause a scene at a family celebration, particularly if it takes place in front of your kids.
You might find it helpful to set ground rules before the event, like:
- Whether your ex can bring his or her new partner (but, to be fair, you have to follow the same rule)
- How much contact you and your ex will have during the event
For the most part, it just boils down to how comfortable you and your ex are when it comes to interacting with one another.
Birthdays and Holidays: The Icing on the Cake
Your kids are likely to want both parents (and both sets of grandparents) to celebrate birthdays and holidays with them, and that’s perfectly normal. Just remember that you’re likely to have extended family members that aren’t too thrilled at the prospect of seeing your ex. Prepare everyone who may have strong feelings about it ahead of time to avoid any hard feelings.
When your ex arrives (or when you arrive), remember: you aren’t together anymore, and you don’t have to fight. If you and your ex both act like adults, the get-together will go smoothly and everyone can have a good time.
If you find that your ex (or your ex’s new partner) makes getting along difficult, let your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer know right away. Your lawyer can help you get legal relief from issues with your ex.