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Navigating Funerals with Your Ex

Published: April 24, 2013

Last Updated: September 12, 2025

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Navigating Funerals with Your Ex

Funerals are stressful enough without having to see your ex-spouse, but unfortunately, sometimes that’s inevitable. If a family member or close friend has passed, you and your spouse may both want to pay your respects. Whether you’ve been divorced for ages or you’re still working with a North York divorce lawyer, you might have a difficult time attending a funeral when your ex is there.

Avoidance is Usually the Best Policy

If you and your ex didn’t have (or aren’t having) an amicable split, it’s usually a good idea to steer clear of each other at a funeral. A polite nod to acknowledge each other should be enough. If you’re comfortable doing so, you can offer your condolences—but remember, a funeral isn’t the appropriate place to discuss anything related to your divorce.

Some people just don’t understand boundaries, so if your ex tries to discuss your divorce or other personal details, politely decline. He or she should get the picture when you don’t rise to the occasion. If your ex won’t leave you alone, you’ll have to take the high road; that might include leaving to avoid causing a scene.

Bringing the Kids to a Funeral with Your Ex

You may need to bring your children to a funeral for your ex’s benefit, or your ex might need to bring them for yours. Again, a funeral isn’t the right venue to converse about your divorce; save your discussions, disagreements and arguments for a more appropriate day.

When the Funeral is for an Ex-Family Member

When an ex-in-law has passed away, it’s generally a good idea to call your former spouse and offer your condolences and ask permission to go to the funeral. If your ex shows up at the funeral of one of your family members or friends without consulting with you first, be gracious; he or she is grieving, too, and you can set aside your differences for the day.

When to Call Your North York Divorce Lawyer

It’s normal for your ex to want to attend the same funerals you attend. After all, you have connections with many of the same people because you were married. However, if your ex is going out of the way to intrude on your grief, you should call your lawyer (even if you’re already divorced).

Any time your ex is harassing you and you can’t stop his or her behaviour by asking nicely, let your North York divorce lawyer know. Your lawyer might be able to pursue legal solutions that can help prevent your ex from bothering you.

Written by Lisa Gelman

Senior Lawyer

Senior Lawyer Lisa Gelman has over 25 years of family law experience and founded Gelman & Associates to provide strategic legal counsel in family law matters concerning divorce, parenting, separation, and more.

Frequently Asked Questions - divorce & separation

If you or your spouse are not in Canada, you can not get a divorce. However, you can end your marriage under the Civil Marriage Act. You can only end your marriage in Canada and not another country because your marriage is only valid in Canada.

Yes, you can date while separated in Canada. However, there is a legal implication to that. If the timing of your new relationship comes into question during your divorce, your relationship may be considered as an affair or adultery.

Yes. Our legal services are available in person, online, and over the phone. In addition, although our main office is located in Toronto, we have over 8 additional satellite offices located throughout central, southern, western, and eastern Ontario to serve family law clients across the province.

If you are litigating your matter, social media posts made by your spouse or partner may be relevant, especially if they contradict what your spouse is claiming in his or her pleadings.

For example, if a spouse is claiming financial hardship, a Facebook post that shows that spouse going on an expensive trip or posing with an expensive car can undermine such claim and potentially affect that party’s credibility in court if presented as evidence on a motion or at trial.

Further to photograph-based posts, statements that are made on social media by one party can be relevant if said posts (i) are related to the litigation, to issues of parenting and/or (b) contradict statements that were made by the party in his or her pleadings. For example, if a party is attempting to establish that he or she is an appropriate custodial parent, then recent social media posts about extensive partying and drug use made by that party may be relevant in court, as they may speak to that party’s fitness when it comes to appropriate supervision of a child in his or her care.

Yes, you can separate from your spouse. Separation does not have to lead to divorce. However, if you plan to remarry, you must file for divorce after one year of separation. Also, you may want to consider that if you just leave, your spouse may file for spousal support or child support.

It is advised however that before leaving, you try to have a separation agreement with your spouse.

Divorce can be a difficult decision to make, especially if you’re unsure if your partner will sign the petition. However, a divorce does not require your partner’s consent. Although it may be a long process if your partner doesn’t comply, they will not be able to stop you indefinitely.

The only ground for a divorce in Canada’s Divorce Act is marriage breakdown. This could include spousal infidelity, although infidelity alone could be difficult and emotionally taxing to prove in court.

You are not legally required to retain a lawyer to apply for divorce. However, a divorce application may involve important questions about parenting, support, property and procedural requirements. Independent legal advice can help you understand how a proposed agreement or court application may affect you.

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