Gelman & Associate's statement regarding COVID-19 - Read More

When Your Spouse is Using YouAll marriages have rough patches, and many people question whether they should “stick it out” or head their separate ways.

If you’ve chosen to work through difficult times together, it’s natural to assume that you and your spouse have the same goal in mind—but what if you feel as if your other half is just using you until he or she has better options?

Taking Advantage of a Spouse: Why People Do It

While most people are honest about their visions for a relationship, some people aren’t. In cases where one spouse feels that he or she would be at a disadvantage alone, particularly when it comes to spousal support or child custody and child support, the other spouse is vulnerable to victimization.

People use their spouses for money, sex, companionship and a whole host of other reasons. Unfortunately, the person being used is often the last to know.

“I Feel Like My Spouse is Using Me.”

If you find that you have a hard time saying “No,” or that your spouse constantly breaches your comfort zone, you might be in the wrong type of relationship—especially if the things that you do are unreciprocated or even go without the slightest thanks.

Remember, though, that it’s tough to tell whether your partner is using you. You cannot rely on isolated events or even on long-standing patterns. For example, if you’ve always been the breadwinner, you can’t accuse your spouse of using you for your money when he or she continues to expect that you maintain the status quo.

What you can do is ask your spouse if he or she is simply staying because it’s more advantageous. Even better, trust your intuition; if you feel like your spouse is using you, there’s a good chance that he or she is.

What to do About It

You don’t have to head straight to a Toronto divorce lawyer’s office if you feel your spouse is using you, but you do have to set boundaries. Are you willing to confront your partner and demand a change in the way he or she treats you? How much are you willing to take? When you do set boundaries, be prepared to follow through—otherwise, your spouse might keep taking advantage of you as long as he or she can get away with it.