Divorce creates a whirlwind of emotions. From anxiety and nervousness about what the future holds to regret and despair over what’s happened in the past, a divorce has a way of dredging up many negative feelings that are uncomfortable, at best. So how do you keep it all together until you’re out of the eye of the storm?
Keeping Your Emotions in Check vs. Bottling Them Up
It’s important to understand that there’s a difference between keeping your emotions in check and stuffing them away where they can cause serious emotional harm. Keeping your emotions in check doesn’t mean you’re avoiding them or that you’re refusing to experience them; it just means you’re temporarily controlling them during times that expressing them is inappropriate (such as picking your kids up from school or while negotiating property division with your ex).
The Keys to Keeping Your Emotions in Check
Keeping your emotions in check requires you to recognize what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling that way. If your ex takes something that belongs to you, for example, you might feel angry or disappointed; once you understand what you’re feeling, trust yourself to handle it appropriately when the time is right. You might tell yourself that you’ll talk to your Toronto divorce lawyer to resolve the issue or that you’ll find a way to negotiate with your ex to get it back. Either way, you’ll be able to deal with the situation at hand without letting your emotions take over.
Step 1: Take a deep breath. When you feel your emotions bubbling up, force yourself to breathe and count to five.
Step 2: Excuse yourself if necessary so you can process what’s going on. Think about what you’re experiencing and resolve to handle it as soon as possible—actually tell yourself that you’ll handle it.
Step 3: Put your emotions on the shelf and re-focus on the issue at hand. If you’re faced with a decision, look at your options logically and remember that you’ll deal with the emotional part as soon as it’s appropriate.
Relying on Your Toronto Divorce Lawyer
Your Toronto divorce lawyer is there to be a problem-solving resource. He or she can help you handle the tough issues, such as creating a child custody agreement that gives your kids the time with you they deserve and helping you sort through Ontario court procedures. Just knowing you have the support of someone who has your best interests in mind can help you rein in your emotions until you’re ready to process them.