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Child Custody: The Basics

Published: November 5, 2010

Last Updated: July 3, 2026

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Child Custody: The Basics

Custody refers to the right to make major decisions about your child/ren.  Where one parent has sole custody, that parent alone makes all major decisions about the child. Where the parents have joint custody, the parents are to make decisions about the child/ren together. Both sole and joint custody arrangements are available to divorced, separated, or previously unmarried co-parents.

Custody is different from residence. Residence refers to with whom the child/ren ordinarily resides.  If the child spends most of his or her time (more than 60% of time) with one parent, then that parent has primary residence.  If the child/ren spend(s) at least 40% of his or her time with each parent, then the parties have shared residence of the child/ren.   Ordinarily, the non-resident parent has access to the child/ren, which can include overnight visits, weekends, and mid-week visits.

A parent can have joint custody of the child, but not shared residence (i.e. both parents make joint major decisions about the child, but the child ordinarily resides with just one parent).  In rare cases, one parent can have sole custody, but the parents can have shared parenting (i.e. one parent has sole custody and makes all major decisions themselves, while the child resides jointly with both parents).

Ideally, the parents will be able to decide among themselves as to which custody and residence arrangement best meets the needs of the child and the functional realities of the parents.

Voluntary agreements, called “parenting plans”, are usually the best and most common way of settling custody arrangements in Ontario.

Written by Lisa Gelman

Senior Lawyer

Senior Lawyer Lisa Gelman has over 25 years of family law experience and founded Gelman & Associates to provide strategic legal counsel in family law matters concerning divorce, parenting, separation, and more.

Frequently Asked Questions - child custody & access

Ontario law does not specify the age at which a child can decide which parent to live with. At most, the Court may consider the preference of the child but that does not necessarily mean that the Court will act favorably on it. The court will consider the child’s maturity, ability to articulate their desires, and the reasoning behind their views when seeking their opinion.

If a parenting plan is included in your court order under the Divorce Act, the document will be legally binding.

In order to change your child’s last name, you will have to be the child’s parent with legal custody or be the legal guardian of the child. In order to change the child’s last name, you will have to provide notice to anyone who has legal access to the child, and that may include your ex-spouse.

In most cases, the answer is no. However, there can be some exceptions that the mother can build a case upon. These include the father putting the child at risk, non-compliance with the court order, or a history of violence by the father.

Creating a custody plan with a narcissistic ex-partner is a task best left to legal professionals. While there might not be one way to deal with a narcissistic ex, there are things that you can do to turn the tables on a narcissistic co-parent. The best way to prevent problems is to go with no contact or limited contact with your ex-partner and put everything in writing if you must only communicate via email or text message to record statements and harassment.

Let us consider that the “moving away” is relocation and not just a change in residency.

Then, let us qualify that the mother will take your child with her.

If the mother is the primary caregiver of the child, you may oppose the relocation by applying the principles laid down under the Gordon vs. Goertz case. You must present your case strongly as to why potentially cutting your child’s relationship as the primary caregiver is to your child’s best interest. This situation falls under the purview of Section 16.93(2) of the Divorce Act.

If both you and the mother have equal parenting time over your child, the mother of the child has the burden of proof as to why the relocation is for the best interest of your child. This situation falls under the purview of Section 16.93(1) of the Divorce Act.

If there is no Court ordered, approved, or awarded parenting time or separation agreement, as contemplated under Section 16.93(3) of the Divorce Act, the mother has the burden of proof to show that relocation is in the best interest of your child.

Note that even if the burden of proof is not laid upon you, it still recommended that you present a strong opposition to the relocation.

Yes, it is possible for your ex to prevent you from relocating with a child you share, although this will likely plan on your parenting arrangements and decision-making responsibility. If you cannot agree about a relocation, a court will decide based on the child’s best interests.

Generally, you need to provide your ex with 60 days’ written notice of your relocation plan, and you must obtain consent or a court order to move the child. A lawyer can help you navigate this process. Our divorce lawyers will guide you through the application and court order process.

Yes, but they will need to establish paternity, especially if the father and the mother separate. Here are the ways to establish paternity as recognized by the court:

  • Act of birth
  • Presumption of paternity
  • Uninterrupted possession of status
  • Voluntary declaration

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