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Decision Reminds Us That Unilateral Decisions Related To Access Are Not Acceptable

Published: March 19, 2021

Last Updated: March 23, 2026

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Decision Reminds Us That Unilateral Decisions Related To Access Are Not Acceptable

One of the most difficult aspects of separation or divorce for children and parents can be those related to parenting time. It’s not uncommon for one parent to feel that the other is not a suitable parent, or that they may find themselves unhappy that the other parent is getting time with the children. However, it’s important for parents who feel this way to understand that decisions related to parenting time cannot be made in a unilateral fashion. As we see in a recent decision from the Ontario Superior Court of Justice, doing so can result in an unfavourable order from the courts.

Court order establishes parenting order

The parents separated in 2006. They have two teenage daughters who at the time of the trial were aged 15 and 13. A parenting order was put into place on September 24, 2013 which established that the mother would have primary parenting responsibility for the children, but that the father would have parenting time with them on Tuesdays and Thursdays after school as well as every other weekend.

The court explained that in the years following the establishment of the order, there had been several instances of conflict between the party, including the mother making unfounded allegation’s against the father.

Mother tells father he can no longer see children

On November 30, 2020, the father received a letter from the mother’s legal counsel stating she had concerns about the children’s time spent with him. The letter specified that the concerns related to alleged threats of self-harm, the father’s interrogation of the children, and his reprimanding of them due to their relationship with the mother. The letter stated “the children will no longer be attending access until they are both able to obtain the necessary counselling that they require.” The father has not seen the children since November 30, 2020.

Court finds no evidence to back up claims against father

The court found that the mother’s statements were “rife with hearsay statements.” The court also noted that references to allegations made to the Children’s Aid Society in 2008 were made prior to the Consent Order being put in place. The court did note that some of the allegations were more recent, such as the father talking about taking his own life around the children, or threatening to disown them.

The father’s submitted materials described a loving relationship with his daughter. He has since remarried and says that he and the children enjoy their time together.

The father asked the court to impose the order made in 2013.

Based on the evidence before it, the court found it was “unable to make findings on the evidence before the Court that the father poses a risk to the girls or to find on a balance of probabilities that he has in fact been threatening to harm himself.”

The court told the mother that she cannot simply suspend access, and that if she wants to request a change to access she has to bring a Motion to Change.

ContactGelman & Associatesto learn how knowledgeable family law lawyers can protect your custody and access rights. We strive to provide you with the information and resources necessary to make informed decisions about family law matters.To help you maintain positive mental health during a difficult period, we also offer our clients a free consultation with a psychological professional. In order to be available to clients and prospective clients, our phone lines are open Monday to Friday from 8 AM to 8 PM. Call us at (844) 736-0200 or contact us online for an initial consultation.

 

Written by Lisa Gelman

Senior Lawyer

Senior Lawyer Lisa Gelman has over 25 years of family law experience and founded Gelman & Associates to provide strategic legal counsel in family law matters concerning divorce, parenting, separation, and more.

Frequently Asked Questions - child custody & access

Ontario law does not specify the age at which a child can decide which parent to live with. At most, the Court may consider the preference of the child but that does not necessarily mean that the Court will act favorably on it. The court will consider the child’s maturity, ability to articulate their desires, and the reasoning behind their views when seeking their opinion.

If a parenting plan is included in your court order under the Divorce Act, the document will be legally binding.

In order to change your child’s last name, you will have to be the child’s parent with legal custody or be the legal guardian of the child. In order to change the child’s last name, you will have to provide notice to anyone who has legal access to the child, and that may include your ex-spouse.

In most cases, the answer is no. However, there can be some exceptions that the mother can build a case upon. These include the father putting the child at risk, non-compliance with the court order, or a history of violence by the father.

Creating a custody plan with a narcissistic ex-partner is a task best left to legal professionals. While there might not be one way to deal with a narcissistic ex, there are things that you can do to turn the tables on a narcissistic co-parent. The best way to prevent problems is to go with no contact or limited contact with your ex-partner and put everything in writing if you must only communicate via email or text message to record statements and harassment.

Let us consider that the “moving away” is relocation and not just a change in residency.

Then, let us qualify that the mother will take your child with her.

If the mother is the primary caregiver of the child, you may oppose the relocation by applying the principles laid down under the Gordon vs. Goertz case. You must present your case strongly as to why potentially cutting your child’s relationship as the primary caregiver is to your child’s best interest. This situation falls under the purview of Section 16.93(2) of the Divorce Act.

If both you and the mother have equal parenting time over your child, the mother of the child has the burden of proof as to why the relocation is for the best interest of your child. This situation falls under the purview of Section 16.93(1) of the Divorce Act.

If there is no Court ordered, approved, or awarded parenting time or separation agreement, as contemplated under Section 16.93(3) of the Divorce Act, the mother has the burden of proof to show that relocation is in the best interest of your child.

Note that even if the burden of proof is not laid upon you, it still recommended that you present a strong opposition to the relocation.

Yes, it is possible for your ex to prevent you from relocating with a child you share, although this will likely plan on your parenting arrangements and decision-making responsibility. If you cannot agree about a relocation, a court will decide based on the child’s best interests.

Generally, you need to provide your ex with 60 days’ written notice of your relocation plan, and you must obtain consent or a court order to move the child. A lawyer can help you navigate this process. Our divorce lawyers will guide you through the application and court order process.

Yes, but they will need to establish paternity, especially if the father and the mother separate. Here are the ways to establish paternity as recognized by the court:

  • Act of birth
  • Presumption of paternity
  • Uninterrupted possession of status
  • Voluntary declaration

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