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Domestic Violence: The Basics

Published: November 30, 2010

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Domestic Violence: The Basics

A few basic points about domestic violence:

1. Don’t become a deadly statistic
All too often people stay too long in a violent home. The idea of going to court, they believe, is just too much. In reality, court is better than an emergency room or worse. Each year, over 40,000 arrests result from domestic violence. This represents about 12% of violent crimes reported to police in Canada. Spousal homicides account for approximately 16% of all solved homicides.

2. If your spouse is violent, take immediate action.
Call the police if necessary. When you are safe, contact a domestic violence relief agency, such as the Victim Support Line at 1-888-579-2888, or 416-314-2447 in the Greater Toronto Area. The Victim Support Line can help you by giving you personal information and connecting you with appropriate services. They can also direct you to a safe shelter. If it is an emergency, call 911.

3. If you fear for your safety, leave the house; otherwise, talk to a lawyer first.
Violence can be an ongoing threat, wherever you are. Therefore, if your spouse is violent, you must take all steps necessary to protect your safety and the safety of your children. Focus on your legal issues only after you are safe.

In general, you can leave the house and not come back, and you may take the children with you, unless a court order directs you otherwise. However, if circumstances allow, speak to a lawyer who can look at your individual circumstances to assist you in making the best decision in your particular circumstances.

4. If warranted, file criminal charges.
If you are physically abused, there are several crimes your abuser can be charged with under the Criminal Code: abuse, sexual abuse, forcible confinement, making threats, or criminal harassment. Contact the police as soon as possible.

Your first priority must always be your personal safety and the safety of your children.

If you require any assistance with legal issues involving domestic abuse, do not hesitate to contact your Toronto divorce lawyer.

Written by Lisa Gelman

Senior Lawyer

Senior Lawyer Lisa Gelman has over 25 years of family law experience and founded Gelman & Associates to provide strategic legal counsel in family law matters concerning divorce, parenting, separation, and more.

Frequently Asked Questions - family violence & domestic orders

If the person doesn’t feel comfortable leaving, you can still assist them in developing a safety plan that they can use if the violence occurs again or if they want to escape later. Simply creating a plan can assist them in seeing whatever tasks are required and help them psychologically prepare themselves.

While domestic violence is often linked to physical abuse and violent behavior, emotional abuse can also constitute domestic violance. In fact, domestic violence includes a broad range of abuse, such as physical, sexual, psychological, and verbal.

Physical violence, sexual violence, emotional violence, psychological violence, spiritual violence, cultural violence, verbal abuse, and financial abuse are among the types of violence anyone can experience within a marriage.

Photographs of the scene and injuries, obtaining medical evidence of any injuries, a recording of the emergency response call, and talking to family and friends are all considered essential evidence in a domestic violence case.

A batterer is someone who physically abuses a kid, another person, or a spouse.

Yes, there they can. Domestic violence against males can take many forms, including physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual assault. Men are abused significantly more frequently than you may think in heterosexual and same-sex relationships. It affects males of all ages and occupations, from many cultures and walks of life.

While individuals have the ability to change, they must have a strong desire to change and be devoted to all parts of change in order to do it, and even then, it’s much easier said than done. Only a small fraction of abusers actually change their habits.

It is important not to say anything that makes the victim feel like it is their fault or like they could have stopped it if they had done something differently. Do not downplay their story by telling them that many people in their situation have problems. Do not interrogate them as to why they never left the relationship earlier. Do not ask what they did to provoke the abuser or tell them that there are two sides to a story. Saying these types of things will not help the recovery or escape process. You will most likely only be affirming the abuser’s threats and manipulation tactics.

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