Gelman Family Law Lawyers

Over 200+ 5-Star Google Reviews

Book Consult

Fighting with Your Ex – Is it Really Worth It?

Published: November 17, 2014

Last Updated: September 9, 2025

Book Consult1-844-736-0200
Fighting with Your Ex – Is it Really Worth It?

When a marriage ends, the stress of communicating with each other can be overwhelming. Emotions run high during divorce, but for your own sake, it’s wise to keep the stress to a minimum… but that’s easier said than done.

Relying on Your Brampton Divorce Lawyer

Many people choose to leave communication to their Brampton divorce lawyers. In some cases, though, you’ll have to deal with your ex – especially when it comes to making arrangements for your children, making important decisions about your assets, and a handful of other situations. You and your ex should work out issues such as property division, child custody and visitation, and other significant decisions to the extent that you’re able.

Remember that disagreeing and fighting are two completely different things. Disagreements are fine. They’re normal during divorce. But fighting? Fighting should be kept to a minimum for several reasons, and your mental health is one of them.

Choosing Your Battles

Your divorce lawyer will probably advise you that choosing your battles is the smartest strategy. Like marriage, divorce is give-and-take; what you’re both trying to do is survive it with minimal emotional damage, and you won’t have any less emotional damage by inflicting pain on your ex.

In fact, you may suffer more if you choose to fight with your ex.

When you’re combative, your ex will automatically assume a defensive position. He or she will be more likely to lash out, and then you’ll be forced to be defensive – and it’s an endless cycle that won’t do anyone any good.

When to Involve Your Lawyer

It’s best if you and your ex can come to agreements on your own terms, but that’s not always possible. When you can’t agree on something, or if your ex is limiting your time with your children or otherwise trying to make your life difficult, take the issues to your lawyer.

Written by Lisa Gelman

Senior Lawyer

Senior Lawyer Lisa Gelman has over 25 years of family law experience and founded Gelman & Associates to provide strategic legal counsel in family law matters concerning divorce, parenting, separation, and more.

Frequently Asked Questions - divorce & separation

If you or your spouse are not in Canada, you can not get a divorce. However, you can end your marriage under the Civil Marriage Act. You can only end your marriage in Canada and not another country because your marriage is only valid in Canada.

Yes, you can date while separated in Canada. However, there is a legal implication to that. If the timing of your new relationship comes into question during your divorce, your relationship may be considered as an affair or adultery.

Yes. Our legal services are available in person, online, and over the phone. In addition, although our main office is located in Toronto, we have over 8 additional satellite offices located throughout central, southern, western, and eastern Ontario to serve family law clients across the province.

If you are litigating your matter, social media posts made by your spouse or partner may be relevant, especially if they contradict what your spouse is claiming in his or her pleadings.

For example, if a spouse is claiming financial hardship, a Facebook post that shows that spouse going on an expensive trip or posing with an expensive car can undermine such claim and potentially affect that party’s credibility in court if presented as evidence on a motion or at trial.

Further to photograph-based posts, statements that are made on social media by one party can be relevant if said posts (i) are related to the litigation, to issues of parenting and/or (b) contradict statements that were made by the party in his or her pleadings. For example, if a party is attempting to establish that he or she is an appropriate custodial parent, then recent social media posts about extensive partying and drug use made by that party may be relevant in court, as they may speak to that party’s fitness when it comes to appropriate supervision of a child in his or her care.

Yes, you can separate from your spouse. Separation does not have to lead to divorce. However, if you plan to remarry, you must file for divorce after one year of separation. Also, you may want to consider that if you just leave, your spouse may file for spousal support or child support.

It is advised however that before leaving, you try to have a separation agreement with your spouse.

Divorce can be a difficult decision to make, especially if you’re unsure if your partner will sign the petition. However, a divorce does not require your partner’s consent. Although it may be a long process if your partner doesn’t comply, they will not be able to stop you indefinitely.

The only ground for a divorce in Canada’s Divorce Act is marriage breakdown. This could include spousal infidelity, although infidelity alone could be difficult and emotionally taxing to prove in court.

You are not legally required to retain a lawyer to apply for divorce. However, a divorce application may involve important questions about parenting, support, property and procedural requirements. Independent legal advice can help you understand how a proposed agreement or court application may affect you.

Locations We Serve

Multiple offices to help serve you better

With numerous offices across Ontario, we make it easier for our clients to have access to our lawyers. Please note that offices marked with an (**) are satellite offices and require a consultation booked in advance. We are not able to accommodate walk-in appointments at these locations. Call us to book a free consultation today.

Still have family law questions?

Speak to a lawyer

If you need legal advice regarding divorce & separation matters in Ontario, contact our Toronto family law lawyers for a free consultation. Some conditions may apply.

Book Your Consult