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Parenting Plan

Having a detailed parenting plan has a huge impact on your future co-parenting relationship and your children’s lives. A parenting plan is useful because it prepares you and your ex-partner for future disagreements.

A parenting plan must be clear and detailed. It must outline any potential points of conflict between you and your ex. Avoiding conflicts is important and can keep everyone out of court in the future.

Below are important points to remember when writing out your parenting plan. Although it’s smart to include these points, remember that your plans must address unique issues that may affect your child’s needs.

The Importance of a Parenting Plan

A detailed parenting plan limits your risk of future litigation and conflict. It also gives you something to fall back on, should the relationship with your co-parent change in the future.  

The document can also function as a great default during times when you and your ex cannot agree on something. With a parenting plan, you can settle disputes faster and spend more time focusing on your children.

A parenting plan also has a positive effect on kids. Exposure to destructive conflict is harmful to children. Since a parenting plan can lessen arguments, this can be beneficial to your child’s mental health.

These are the reasons why you should have a parenting plan when you’re in the middle of a divorce or separation.

Parenting Plan Guidelines

In Canada, parenting orders include the submission of a parenting plan. Courts are allowed to make any changes to the plan and include it in the order.

A parenting plan should address the needs of your children. When writing it, you should consider the age of your children and how the plan can change as your children grow older.

This article outlines all the common factors to include when writing your parenting plan.

What Are Included in the Parenting Plan

Below is a list of factors that you can use as a starting point to help guide your discussions. Remember that some items in the list may not apply to your situation. 

Communication

You should include in your parenting plan all information that all parties need to communicate. These may include medical information, new partners, or travel plans.

Family violence

Before submitting your parenting plan, make sure to include information that could impact your children’s safety. 

Ask yourself if you’re worried about your children’s safety or your own safety with your ex-partner. Take note if you have safety concerns about the other parent’s ability to keep your child safe.

Parenting time arrangements

Include information about parenting time arrangements. Specify where your child will live and how much time they’ll spend with both parents.

You should also include information about transportation. Take note of who will transport your child when traveling and who will pay for transportation.

Other things to specify include childcare or babysitting, social gatherings, and your child’s belongings.

Siblings, grandparents, and extended family

Discuss how you and your ex can support your child’s sibling and extended family relationships. Specify if each parent will be responsible for maintaining relationships with their side of the family while the children are with them.

Vacations, holidays, and special days

Specify who will care for the children during vacations, school breaks, and holidays. You should also include where your child will spend special days, like birthdays or other family events such as weddings, graduations, and funerals.

Travel

Discuss how you and your co-parent will notify each other about travel plans. Take note of how far in advance you should inform each other.

You should also discuss medical considerations for travel. This can be about required immunizations or vaccines for travel.

Education

You must include information about your child’s education. Discuss how you’ll make decisions about school choices or programs.

You should also discuss who’ll pay for education-related bills, like tutoring. Discuss who’ll be attending parent-teacher conferences.

Extra-curricular activities

Talk about who will make decisions about extracurricular activities. You should also specify who will pay and transport the kids for these activities? 

Discuss how you’ll make decisions about events that require parent’s participation or attendance.

Religion, culture, and indigenous heritage

You and your co-parent should discuss how you’ll make decisions about your children’s religious upbringing.

If applicable to your case, you should also address issues related to indigenous heritage in the parenting plan.

Health care

In the parenting plan, you should include how you’ll make decisions about your child’s medical care. Discuss who will make decisions about preventative treatments. Including vaccinations.

You should also discuss decisions about medical insurance for your children? Talk about who will submit claims and who will pay extra costs?

Children with special needs

If you have children with special needs, you need to include considerations like special testings or assessments in your parenting plan. Decide whether your child with special needs can go between two homes or will just stay in one home.

Relocation

You should also discuss how to handle potential moves. Talk about how you’ll deal with parenting arrangements that may be affected by the relocation.

New partners and blended families

Discuss how you’ll introduce new partners and their children to your kids. Talk about how time will be spent with new partners and half-siblings.

Parents whose work requires long absences (military parents, diplomats, international aid workers, etc.)

You should include in your parenting plan information about how your child can communicate with a parent who is away for a long period. Discuss if kids can visit temporary work locations and other living arrangements.

Mental health/substance abuse

You need to address potential parenting concerns if you or your co=parent have mental health or substance abuse issues. If needed, discuss alternative parenting arrangements, including supervised parenting time or limited parenting time.

Dealing with conflict

Talk about how you and your co-parent will handle future disagreements. Consider the help of a mediator, lawyer, or other family justice professional. 

Tips on How You Can Help Children Deal with Separation or Divorce

Empathize When your children are upset about your divorce, try to empathize with their distress. This allows you to see the issue from their perspective. 

This can make your child feel validated, even when things don’t go their way.

Spend time with your child Spending a couple of spontaneous moments with your child can strengthen your relationship. You can alternate between doing things that you want and things that your child enjoys doing.

Doing this presents a great opportunity for you to be fully present with them. This doesn’t only benefit your child, but may also do wonders for your mental health.

Encourage them to play You can encourage all types of playing to help your child cope during stressful times. 

Playing can help children work off steam and can help them learn. If your child is older, you can encourage them to play with their friends.

Seek the help of expert family law lawyers from Gelman & Associates if you and your partner can’t find the middle ground in your parenting plan.

Changes in Parenting Plan

As your child grows older, their needs and interests will change. This means that your parenting plan may need to be updated to ensure that it’s still in line with your child’s wants and needs.

Before making changes to your parenting plan, you first need to consult your separation agreement. This way, you will know the proper legal actions to take before you make any changes.

Changing your parenting plan also allows you to change the old agreements decided on the document. You and your ex-partner may have new things to add or remove.

Get Legal Assistance from a Gelman & Associates Family Law Lawyer

A child parenting plan is important to have when you’re in the middle of a divorce or separation. It can help you settle conflicts faster or avoid them altogether.

A detailed parenting plan enables you to spend more time with your children, which is important to help them cope during difficult times.

It can help you and your ex-partner find success in your co-parenting efforts. Co-parenting can be challenging, but a parenting plan can help make the process easier. 

You may also seek professional help if you and your ex find yourselves struggling to come to an agreement. You can tap legal advisers, counselors, or parenting coaches to help out.

If you’re looking for legal advice about your parenting plan, call Gelman & Associates today. Our team of family law lawyers can help you identify the best legal options for you and your child.

Written by Lisa Gelman

Senior Lawyer

Senior Lawyer Lisa Gelman has over 25 years of family law experience and founded Gelman & Associates to provide strategic legal counsel in family law matters concerning divorce, parenting, separation, and more.

Frequently Asked Questions - child custody & access

It is not uncommon for someone to want to relocate after a divorce. If you still live in the marital residence, the familiar surroundings and memories may be too much for your heart to handle. Or in the process of reinventing yourself post-divorce you may want to take a new job, move closer to your friends and family, or simply wish to start fresh somewhere new. There are many reasons a person may want to move after going through a divorce, however if you have children you will need to think twice before making a big move.

Emotionally, it can be challenging for a child to move to an unfamiliar place. Often, they are most at ease in a familiar environment with access to family and friends. Changing schools, living in a new city or even a new house can be difficult on a child, especially after dealing with the emotional turmoil associated with divorce.

Legally, there are certain implications to relocating away from the current jurisdiction where the children ordinarily reside. Before moving you and the noncustodial parent can negotiate with the absence of a lawyer, a written agreement about the moce and any changes to visitation that may be needed. If you cannot reach an agreement about the move, you then must file an Application/Motion to the court to hear your matter and for a judge to make a decision before you move. Usually the court requires at least 30 days notice to the other parent of your court Application/Motion. It may take longer to reach an agreement with the other parent or get a court order. It is a good idea to give notice of 90 days before the move, as as soon as possible and to consult with a lawyer first. Upon receiving this notice, they can challenge your proposed change of residence or apply for a variation to the existing custody or access orders.

The leading case that sets out the legal test in determining mobility is Gordon vs. Goertz (1996) 2. S.C.R. 27

Similar to any other action involving variation of an existing custody order, the person challenging the relocation has to show that the move will result in a material change in circumstances affecting the child. Once this has been established, a judge will determine the best interests of the child in light of the relevant circumstances. These relevant circumstances include the existing custody and access relationship, the relationship between the child and the custodial parent, the views of the child, and the reason for the proposed change of residence among other circumstances. As with every other custody proceeding, the judges determination will turn on the best interests of the child. The judge’s inquiry is individualized and will involve all factors relevant to the case at hand.

Because mobility has become so easy in today’s society, often separation agreements or custody orders will address relocation and place specific restrictions on changing residences. Non-removal clauses that ban the extra-provincial removal of children without consent of the noncustodial parent. In these cases, the custodial parent who wishes to relocate will have to initiate the action by placing an application with the court.

If you are contemplating a move, you must consider the emotional needs of your child, as well as your former spouse’s right to challenge your relocation. Typically, courts only allow a custodial parent to relocate if the proposed move is in good faith and not intended to frustrate the noncustodial parent’s relationship with the child. Additionally, if a custodial parent relocates, they must be willing to accommodate the noncustodial parent’s access to the child; sometimes this means that the relocating parent will have to pay the additional costs of access.

In sum, if you are a custodial parent, moving isn’t as easy as just loading up the car and hitting the road – but it is still possible.

Yes, but they will need to establish paternity, especially if the father and the mother separate. Here are the ways to establish paternity as recognized by the court:

  • Act of birth
  • Presumption of paternity
  • Uninterrupted possession of status
  • Voluntary declaration

No. Even when the parents are unmarried, divorced, or separated, one parent cannot keep the child from seeing the other unless the court deems it appropriate to the child’s best interests.

Historically, mothers have been more likely to get sole custody of their child in both consent and contested orders, as they are usually the child’s primary caregiver. However, as more mothers also work outside the home, courts could also rule in favor of the father.

The majority of judges strive to make decisions that are in your children’s best interest. Giving full custody to one parent is usually the best option, except in cases with concerns such as child or substance abuse. This typically means keeping in contact with and maintaining relationships with both parents.
You should do everything possible to prepare for the subsequent child custody negotiations, whether you’re a parent seeking full custody or shared custody:
Be honest with yourself about your ability to manage things alone, in terms of practicality, finances, and other factors. You may get the result you want by presenting the strongest case for custody by doing the following:

  • Make a Strategy: If custody is granted, a court will expect you to be ready. Compile thoughtful replies to hypothetical queries posed in court.
  • Speak with people who have gone through the child custody procedure before you. They may provide you advice and tell you what to anticipate.
  • Judges look for proof of a meaningful relationship in addition to making sure you can provide a child’s practical and basic needs. Simply put, be involved in your children’s lives.
  • Continue to pay child support regularly, whether you’re asking the court for full or shared custody. When you start the procedure, you’ll want to make sure you have a strong track record.
  • Keep a detailed log of your visitation schedule. This is a crucial aspect of obtaining child custody. Visitation records reflect how often you see your children under the present arrangements and your dependability, as well as dedication to them.
  • During all child custody hearings, the court will inquire about acceptable living accommodations. Even if you live in a tiny apartment, you should create a unique and secure environment for your child.
  • Courts may determine child custody in part by how you treat your child’s other parent. Being hostile or unpleasant to the other parent makes collaborative decision-making more complicated and can break apart parent-child ties. As a result, judges are more inclined to favor the parent who isn’t behaving badly.
  • While parents typically spend a lot of time thinking about what they believe is best for their children, children’s perspectives are sometimes overlooked. The court will be interested in learning what the children desire and will most likely question them directly at some point throughout the proceedings. You can better inform your decision-making by asking your child what they think.

No. Parenting time and child support are different from each other. While it is a child’s right to be provided with financial support, it is also their right to spend time with their parents. Thus, even if the child support was cancelled the parent formerly supporting can still enjoy parenting time with the child.

“There is no fixed age for when a child can say which parent they want to live with after a divorce. However, by law, a child must be 16 years old to decide on this matter. The exception to this is when there is a court order stating that a child/ren must live with one parent until they turn 17 or 18.

Under certain circumstances, it is possible to legally prevent your child/ren’s father from seeing or contacting them. It may be necessary if he presents a potential danger to your child/ren. If you were never married to the father of your child and there is no court order saying otherwise, you can do anything you want until paternity is confirmed.

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