A divorce can leave you feeling sad, angry, and lonely. It might even make you think that you would never entertain the idea of getting married again. For many people, though, those negative feelings abate over time, and you may find yourself considering a second marriage. As you make your preparations for walking down the aisle once more, it’s normal to be a bit nervous. It didn’t work out the first time, so how do you know it will now? Here are some positive points to consider when contemplating the joys of second marriages:
You’ve Learned from Your Mistakes
Chances are you know the main reasons why your first marriage failed. Perhaps there were issues with communication, finances, or lifestyle. Reflecting on what went wrong before can help you understand what you should do differently in the future. Plus, you’ve likely learned how to pick your battles and what methods do and don’t work in running a household. This will make everyday life with your new spouse that much easier.
You Know More About Yourself
When you’re young, you probably felt as though you already knew exactly what you wanted and what you were going to do with your life. But many of us spend our twenties changing those plans over and over again. Maybe our original goals didn’t turn out to be as good as we expected, or life got in the way. Either way, we often end up as very different people by the time we hit thirty. Coming into a marriage slightly older and wiser gives you the benefit of knowing what you really do want out of life and finding a partner that can help you find it.
You Want to Make it Work
That’s not to say that either you or your ex didn’t want things to work, but there’s a different drive at work during a second marriage. Once you’ve felt the emotional crush of a divorce, you really don’t want to go back there again. This makes both spouses into better partners who are more likely to work things out instead of giving up.
A Second Marriage is a Second Chance
It’s easy to believe, when suffering through the emotional roller coaster of a divorce, that nobody will ever love you again or vice versa. Just take a moment to think about other people you know who have divorced and how negative their thoughts were at first. The possibility of remarrying makes us realize that we don’t have to go it alone for the rest of our lives, and that there is still the possibility of true love.
If you find your feet getting chilly when you think about remarrying, remember that for many reasons you are a more qualified partner than you used to be. You know who you are, what you want, and how to get it. Your partner, if he or she has been married before, is the same way. Just like the Tony Bennett song says, “Love is lovelier the second time around, just as wonderful with both feet on the ground.”
