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Out with the Old: Getting Rid of Your Spouse’s Possessions

Published: May 15, 2013

Last Updated: June 18, 2026

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Out with the Old: Getting Rid of Your Spouse’s Possessions

During divorce, it’s common to feel a wide range of emotions that span from sadness to righteous anger. While you might relish the thought of stuffing your ex’s clothes into trash bags, tossing a few of his or her prized possessions out of a second-storey window, or shoving the couch you’ve always hated out the front door, you should probably relegate those ideas to a dusty corner of your imagination. In fact, your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer will likely tell you to do just that—and it’s for your own good.

Cleaning House

If your ex has moved out of your marital home but hasn’t yet removed all his or her possessions, it’s okay to help pack them so you can begin moving on. However, that means packing things as if they were your own; neatly, gently and space-efficiently. Damaging or destroying your ex’s belongings could make your ex less likely to work with you on property division; additionally, your ex could use it to make you seem irrational and incapable of self-control in court.

Arranging the Pick-Up

Once your ex’s belongings are packed and ready to go, it’s time to ask your ex to come get them. Sending a polite text or email can be a great alternative to a phone call, especially if you’re concerned about getting into an argument.

Your goal is to remain flexible and be civil. Your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer will probably tell you that the more civil you can be toward your ex, the better you’ll fare during the divorce. If your ex can’t come get his or her things when you’d like them to, see if you can work something else out. If they won’t agree to pick them up at all, let your lawyer know so he or she can give you guidance on what to do next.

Extenuating Circumstances

If you’ve been a victim of domestic violence, or if your ex is trying to manipulate, bully or harass you, tell your Richmond Hill divorce lawyer right away. Your safety is more important than giving back your ex’s belongings, and your lawyer will be able to help ensure everything goes smoothly when your ex stops by for the pick-up.

Rearranging Your Space

Once your ex’s stuff is gone—or at least packed and sitting by the door—you can start infusing your space with your own personality. Get rid of or stash away anything that reminds you of your ex so you can start fresh. Rearrange the furniture, splash a fresh coat of paint here, add a brighter lamp there… it’s your house, and the sooner you make it feel like yours alone, the sooner you can begin enjoying your fresh start.

Written by Lisa Gelman

Senior Lawyer

Senior Lawyer Lisa Gelman has over 25 years of family law experience and founded Gelman & Associates to provide strategic legal counsel in family law matters concerning divorce, parenting, separation, and more.

Frequently Asked Questions - divorce & separation

If you or your spouse are not in Canada, you can not get a divorce. However, you can end your marriage under the Civil Marriage Act. You can only end your marriage in Canada and not another country because your marriage is only valid in Canada.

Yes, you can date while separated in Canada. However, there is a legal implication to that. If the timing of your new relationship comes into question during your divorce, your relationship may be considered as an affair or adultery.

Yes. Our legal services are available in person, online, and over the phone. In addition, although our main office is located in Toronto, we have over 8 additional satellite offices located throughout central, southern, western, and eastern Ontario to serve family law clients across the province.

If you are litigating your matter, social media posts made by your spouse or partner may be relevant, especially if they contradict what your spouse is claiming in his or her pleadings.

For example, if a spouse is claiming financial hardship, a Facebook post that shows that spouse going on an expensive trip or posing with an expensive car can undermine such claim and potentially affect that party’s credibility in court if presented as evidence on a motion or at trial.

Further to photograph-based posts, statements that are made on social media by one party can be relevant if said posts (i) are related to the litigation, to issues of parenting and/or (b) contradict statements that were made by the party in his or her pleadings. For example, if a party is attempting to establish that he or she is an appropriate custodial parent, then recent social media posts about extensive partying and drug use made by that party may be relevant in court, as they may speak to that party’s fitness when it comes to appropriate supervision of a child in his or her care.

Yes, you can separate from your spouse. Separation does not have to lead to divorce. However, if you plan to remarry, you must file for divorce after one year of separation. Also, you may want to consider that if you just leave, your spouse may file for spousal support or child support.

It is advised however that before leaving, you try to have a separation agreement with your spouse.

Divorce can be a difficult decision to make, especially if you’re unsure if your partner will sign the petition. However, a divorce does not require your partner’s consent. Although it may be a long process if your partner doesn’t comply, they will not be able to stop you indefinitely.

The only ground for a divorce in Canada’s Divorce Act is marriage breakdown. This could include spousal infidelity, although infidelity alone could be difficult and emotionally taxing to prove in court.

You are not legally required to retain a lawyer to apply for divorce. However, a divorce application may involve important questions about parenting, support, property and procedural requirements. Independent legal advice can help you understand how a proposed agreement or court application may affect you.

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With numerous offices across Ontario, we make it easier for our clients to have access to our lawyers. Please note that offices marked with an (**) are satellite offices and require a consultation booked in advance. We are not able to accommodate walk-in appointments at these locations. Call us to book a free consultation today.

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