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What Is A Divorce Coach?

Published: June 11, 2018

Last Updated: September 8, 2025

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What Is A Divorce Coach?

Divorce coaches are a relatively new phenomenon in the divorce/separation universe.  Coaches have been used with much success in other areas to assist individuals in achieving professional and personal goals.  There are career coaches, executive coaches, marketing coaches, life coaches, leadership coaches… the list goes on.  If you are going through separation and/or divorce, you might want to consider what a divorce coach can do for you.

Divorce coach Deborah Mecklinger speaks of helping her clients be “realistic, informed and mindful” while working towards a “mutually respectful” divorce. Coach Deborah Moskovitch’s goal is to “help you get through your divorce smarter with your family, your finances and your sanity intact, while saving you time and money.”  This all sounds great – but what does a divorce coach actually do?

Coaches train clients how to appropriately deal with the dynamics of divorce, including the legal, emotional and daily living aspects of that upheaval.

Coaching is not counselling. A coach serves a different role – building a client’s confidence and ability to manage the divorce process so that there is a greater likelihood of satisfaction with the outcome.

A coach can help you collaborate with your lawyer in a more efficient and cost-effective way. By explaining the legal process, for example, a coach can help prepare a client to make better use of a lawyer’s time and expertise.  This is not legal advice, which is the sole realm of the lawyer, but it can be legal information about the steps in the process, the documents to be prepared, the information collected, and so on. This training is valuable not only for the lawyer-client relationship, but also for the contact you might have with other professionals along the divorce road, such as accountants, mediators, assessors and such.

A coach can do the hand-holding that you might not want to share with a lawyer, and that would be very costly for a lawyer to undertake. You can complain to your coach about your ex-spouse while also getting valuable training in how to respond differently to the same old triggers, in order to obtain a better result.

Life after divorce is complicated and challenging.  A coach can assist with the so-called dynamics of divorce; the transition to living life as a divorced person and/or parent. There will be new relationships to navigate, a new family unit created and a new financial reality with which to cope.  A coach can help you face these challenges head on, remaining in the picture once your lawyer has served his/her role and closed the file.

I have been retained by clients who have divorce coaches and by those who do not.  A coach is not necessary.  Many people are able to manage quite well without one.  But if you feel you lack the tools to effectively work with counsel, you might want to speak to a coach. Take an hour and see if what a coach offers would be of use to you.

Written by Jennifer Shuber

Senior Lawyer

Certified specialist Jennifer Shuber is a senior lawyer and accredited mediator at Gelman & Associates who handles high-conflict and high-net-worth family law matters with practical, cost-effective legal guidance.

Frequently Asked Questions - divorce & separation

If you or your spouse are not in Canada, you can not get a divorce. However, you can end your marriage under the Civil Marriage Act. You can only end your marriage in Canada and not another country because your marriage is only valid in Canada.

Yes, you can date while separated in Canada. However, there is a legal implication to that. If the timing of your new relationship comes into question during your divorce, your relationship may be considered as an affair or adultery.

Yes. Our legal services are available in person, online, and over the phone. In addition, although our main office is located in Toronto, we have over 8 additional satellite offices located throughout central, southern, western, and eastern Ontario to serve family law clients across the province.

If you are litigating your matter, social media posts made by your spouse or partner may be relevant, especially if they contradict what your spouse is claiming in his or her pleadings.

For example, if a spouse is claiming financial hardship, a Facebook post that shows that spouse going on an expensive trip or posing with an expensive car can undermine such claim and potentially affect that party’s credibility in court if presented as evidence on a motion or at trial.

Further to photograph-based posts, statements that are made on social media by one party can be relevant if said posts (i) are related to the litigation, to issues of parenting and/or (b) contradict statements that were made by the party in his or her pleadings. For example, if a party is attempting to establish that he or she is an appropriate custodial parent, then recent social media posts about extensive partying and drug use made by that party may be relevant in court, as they may speak to that party’s fitness when it comes to appropriate supervision of a child in his or her care.

Yes, you can separate from your spouse. Separation does not have to lead to divorce. However, if you plan to remarry, you must file for divorce after one year of separation. Also, you may want to consider that if you just leave, your spouse may file for spousal support or child support.

It is advised however that before leaving, you try to have a separation agreement with your spouse.

Divorce can be a difficult decision to make, especially if you’re unsure if your partner will sign the petition. However, a divorce does not require your partner’s consent. Although it may be a long process if your partner doesn’t comply, they will not be able to stop you indefinitely.

The only ground for a divorce in Canada’s Divorce Act is marriage breakdown. This could include spousal infidelity, although infidelity alone could be difficult and emotionally taxing to prove in court.

You are not legally required to retain a lawyer to apply for divorce. However, a divorce application may involve important questions about parenting, support, property and procedural requirements. Independent legal advice can help you understand how a proposed agreement or court application may affect you.

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With numerous offices across Ontario, we make it easier for our clients to have access to our lawyers. Please note that offices marked with an (**) are satellite offices and require a consultation booked in advance. We are not able to accommodate walk-in appointments at these locations. Call us to book a free consultation today.

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If you need legal advice regarding divorce & separation matters in Ontario, contact our Toronto family law lawyers for a free consultation. Some conditions may apply.

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