You don’t have to be best friends with your ex. You don’t even have to like each other. However, there’s a good chance that you’ll have to deal with—and at least tolerate—your ex during your divorce. If you have young kids, you’ll be faced with the tough chore of dealing with your ex long after your Toronto divorce lawyer has handed you the paperwork that ends your marriage.
3 Tips for Dealing with a Difficult Ex
It’s not pleasant, but it can be done; you can deal with your ex, no matter how difficult he or she is.
Stay calm. Your Toronto divorce lawyer has probably already told you how important it is to stay calm at all times. If you become upset when you’re dealing with your ex, step away from the situation before you say or do something you may later regret. Staying calm has two benefits: your blood pressure stays within its normal limits and it prevents situations from spiraling out of control.
Focus on the issue, not the person. Sure, your ex might have annoying habits, peccadilloes or speech patterns that seem impossible to ignore (and naturally, those annoyances are magnified when emotions run high). However, focusing on the things that bother you about your ex doesn’t put you on the path to solving the issue. It’s hard, but remember, you’ll only have to deal with this issue once if you get it settled in one shot; if you let the little things bother you, you’re destined to revisit this issue again and again.
Find common ground. Despite the fact that it feels like it, divorce isn’t really a battle. It’s two people trying to survive a tough time so they can pick up the pieces and move on. If there’s a way you can help your ex that won’t take away from your positive outcome, your Toronto divorce lawyer might advise you to pounce on the opportunity. Not only are you doing the right thing—you’re showing your ex that you’re willing to cooperate, and he or she might be willing to return the favour when it comes to something you want.
Your Toronto divorce lawyer might suggest that you avoid your ex if you just can’t seem to get along. He or she might also advise you to work with a mediator to tackle difficult issues. The main idea is to tolerate your ex long enough to get things accomplished; then you can go home and unwind in peace, knowing that you’ve solved a problem and come out unscathed.
